Recent Reviews

  • Nolan, however, thought he had a better way to approach a movie about dreaming: make it really, really boring. In fact, make it so boring that the audience is unable to tell if it is asleep or awake.

  • Sadly, time has not been kind to the Predator race, as it appears that they have lost about 800 IQ points in the intervening decades.

  • Friction between two men over a woman is some of the most clichéd bullshit you will ever see onscreen, and unless you can convince Steve Martin and Michael Caine to co-star your movie is going to suck. Throw in a disturbing incest angle and open with a scene of John C. Reilly masturbating and you’ve got a real winner on your hands.

  • Grown Ups

    Think of every teen comedy involving summer hijinks you have ever seen and then age the cast 25 years, remove every single joke in the script and add a running gag about a four year old who is still breastfeeding – in public.

  • It’s sort of like that awkward visit to the nursing home when you get there a little bit too early and accidentally witness grandpa getting beaten by an orderly with his own belt for pissing himself for the tenth time that morning. In other words, it’s uncomfortable.

Mr. Cranky Rating Scale

Almost tolerable
Consistently annoying
Will require therapy after viewing
As good as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick
So godawful that it ruptured the very fabric of space and time with the sheer overpowering force of its mediocrity.
Proof that Jesus died in vain.

Mr. Cranky's Blog

Poll

How did Ricky Gervais Do Hosting the Golden Globes?
Who's Ricky Gervais?
60%
Outstanding
25%
Meh
15%
Total votes: 20

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Whether it's a comedy, drama or action movie, Mr. Cranky's movie reviews can provide myriad details as to why a movie, to quote the film school term, "sucks." Ok, so he's predictable. On this dubious premise, we've built an accidental institution. Welcome, kindred soul, to Crankyland.

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