Recent Reviews

  • Johnny Depp in Public Enemies

    If you had a Thompson sub-machine gun, do you think maybe the bozo at the teller window would have filled out his deposit slip beforehand?

  • Attention Hollywood: there are two things you should never make a movie about. Blogging. And Cooking.

  • “District 9” represents precisely what is wrong with all the torture-porn and pointless SFX garbage that gets shoveled at horror and sci-fi fans these days.

  • The periodic fight scenes are really nothing more than re-staged B-western gun battle scenes using sticks instead of six-shooters.

  • When you name your movie “Funny People,” you better fucking back it up.

Mr. Cranky Rating Scale

Almost tolerable
Consistently annoying
Will require therapy after viewing
As good as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick
So godawful that it ruptured the very fabric of space and time with the sheer overpowering force of its mediocrity.
Proof that Jesus died in vain.

Mr. Cranky's Blog

Poll

How were the Oscars this year?
Yawn
25%
They were on last night?!
56%
Good show
18%
Total votes: 55

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Caption Contest

  • Your rating: None Average: 3.2 (19 votes)

Cranky Fact

When watching a horrible romantic movie with your girlfriend it might be wise to put on a poker face and instead save your emotions for the Mr. Cranky review. Better to let out some steam on Mr. Cranky than on your girlfriend. That’s what we are here for!

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Whether it's a comedy, drama or action movie, Mr. Cranky's movie reviews can provide myriad details as to why a movie, to quote the film school term, "sucks." Ok, so he's predictable. On this dubious premise, we've built an accidental institution. Welcome, kindred soul, to Crankyland.

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