Recent Reviews

  • The basic premise of “Up in the Air” is that a person needs a family, at least some kind of permanence, in order to be truly happy. This is, of course, a giant, heaping pile of shit.

  • Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in New Moon

    The true goal of this film is to instill in teenage girls the desire to lose their virginity as soon as possible.

  • Johnny Depp in Public Enemies

    If you had a Thompson sub-machine gun, do you think maybe the bozo at the teller window would have filled out his deposit slip beforehand?

  • Attention Hollywood: there are two things you should never make a movie about. Blogging. And Cooking.

  • “District 9” represents precisely what is wrong with all the torture-porn and pointless SFX garbage that gets shoveled at horror and sci-fi fans these days.

Mr. Cranky Rating Scale

Almost tolerable
Consistently annoying
Will require therapy after viewing
As good as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick
So godawful that it ruptured the very fabric of space and time with the sheer overpowering force of its mediocrity.
Proof that Jesus died in vain.

Mr. Cranky's Blog

Poll

How did Ricky Gervais Do Hosting the Golden Globes?
Who's Ricky Gervais?
60%
Outstanding
33%
Meh
7%
Total votes: 15

Recent Crankizen Blogs

Caption Contest

  • Your rating: None Average: 3.5 (45 votes)

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Whether it's a comedy, drama or action movie, Mr. Cranky's movie reviews can provide myriad details as to why a movie, to quote the film school term, "sucks." Ok, so he's predictable. On this dubious premise, we've built an accidental institution. Welcome, kindred soul, to Crankyland.

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