It’s almost as though the script for this film was written by a faceless robot called The Violator while smoking cigars and penetrating Japanese schoolgirls with tentacles for some live-action manga / snuff flick.

Even worse was the decision to have Keaton spew forth references to TLC lyrics and then pretend he didn’t know what anyone else was talking about when he was called on it. Yeah, you read that right. It’s like they purposely tried to make this movie seem dated the second it was released.

You know, "Salt" wouldn’t have been so bad had it been produced in 1992, or released direct-to-DVD as one of the many under-appreciated sequels to "Under Siege."

While it was amusing of you to completely waste the talent of Zach Galifianakis by restricting him to the role of a cape-wearing IRS employee, the idea that somehow a pet medium, a blind fencing expert and a national mustache champion are the cream of the weirdo crop was a bit of a let-down.

Nolan, however, thought he had a better way to approach a movie about dreaming: make it really, really boring. In fact, make it so boring that the audience is unable to tell if it is asleep or awake.