Dynamite Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
|Diary of a Mad Black Woman||0|
It got so bad I wanted to call 911 and report an explosion at the platitude factory.
|02/25/2005 - 16:09|
I felt like I was caught in a closet and being forced to watch four of my old high school friends go at it, only they had never done it before. Awkward.
|01/29/2009 - 22:58|
Seriously, society is in real trouble if "Doogal" is approved entertainment. Oh wait, come to think of it, society is in real trouble.
|02/24/2006 - 16:37|
Compounding my disappointment was the fact that the finale of the film didn't consist of Rodman cornering the bad guys and stomping their testicles to jelly.
|04/04/1997 - 16:50|
This film is essentially the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of car racing movies.
|04/27/2001 - 19:38|
|Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd||1|
What is it going to take for Hollywood to discover the meaning of the word "shame"?
|06/13/2003 - 19:48|
|Dungeons and Dragons||1|
This movie contains writing so bad that it forces normal people to curse God for allowing human communication to even exist.
|12/08/2000 - 19:51|
Believe it or not, watching "Ed" provided divine inspiration, for Lo, I thought God had reached down from the Heavens and tightened the Holy Vice Grips on my bewildered brain.
|03/15/1996 - 02:17|
|Eight Crazy Nights||0|
I think it's about time Sandler stopped trying to impersonate a talented person and go back to whatever he was doing before acting, like flipping burgers or detailing cars.
|11/27/2002 - 02:32|
In terms of tearing this movie apart, I think the most informative thing I can do for my readers is to supply a simple piece of information: On its opening weekend, "Elektra" was bettered at the box-office by "Racing Stripes." Can you imagine something like "Spiderman 2" being eclipsed by a talking zebra film?
|01/14/2005 - 22:53|
That this film won the Palm d'Or at Cannes is a real testament to a couple of things: First, that just about any piece of crap can win at Cannes.
|10/03/2003 - 22:57|
|End of Days||0|
Why does the Devil always seem to have difficulty killing people when it's really necessary?
|11/24/1999 - 23:41|
This movie is so stupid and insulting that somebody ought to take director Michael Apted, producers Irwin Winkler and Rob Cowan, and screenwriter Nicholas Kazan, and toss them naked into a NOW meeting following a screening of this wretched piece of crap, then let the gathered women castrate each of them with the remnants of their audience reaction cards.
|05/24/2002 - 23:51|
Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have better chemistry than Connery and Zeta-Jones.
|04/30/1999 - 23:53|
How come Durza can summon an army from the depths of hell but he can't hire better security?
|12/15/2006 - 00:01|
|Escape to Witch Mountain||0|
It's so important to find family and appreciate one's family and this movie teaches us that with some of the most incredible storytelling and special effects and Disney magic ever!
|08/24/1996 - 19:28|
|Everything You Want||0|
About two minutes in and I wanted to lay my penis on a windowsill and slam the window shut on it.
|04/17/2005 - 20:01|
|Exorcist: The Beginning||0|
I don't know how much Levitra a man has got to take before there's so much blood in his penis that his brain can't function at all, but clearly these studio executives have swallowed enough.
|08/20/2004 - 20:31|
That's what really bad movies sometimes do to you. You walk out of the theater and it's like the last 90 minutes of your life just vanished.
|11/27/2002 - 20:36|
This inexplicable film doesn't deserve to be reviewed.
|08/30/2002 - 14:05|