Dynamite Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
Movie | Comments | Blurb | Created |
|---|---|---|---|
| Diary of a Mad Black Woman | 0 | It got so bad I wanted to call 911 and report an explosion at the platitude factory. | 02/25/2005 - 16:09 |
| Donkey Punch | 8 | I felt like I was caught in a closet and being forced to watch four of my old high school friends go at it, only they had never done it before. Awkward. | 01/29/2009 - 22:58 |
| Doogal | 0 | Seriously, society is in real trouble if "Doogal" is approved entertainment. Oh wait, come to think of it, society is in real trouble. | 02/24/2006 - 16:37 |
| Double Team | 0 | Compounding my disappointment was the fact that the finale of the film didn't consist of Rodman cornering the bad guys and stomping their testicles to jelly. | 04/04/1997 - 16:50 |
| Driven | 0 | This film is essentially the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of car racing movies. | 04/27/2001 - 19:38 |
| Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd | 1 | What is it going to take for Hollywood to discover the meaning of the word "shame"? | 06/13/2003 - 19:48 |
| Dungeons and Dragons | 1 | This movie contains writing so bad that it forces normal people to curse God for allowing human communication to even exist. | 12/08/2000 - 19:51 |
| Ed | 0 | Believe it or not, watching "Ed" provided divine inspiration, for Lo, I thought God had reached down from the Heavens and tightened the Holy Vice Grips on my bewildered brain. | 03/15/1996 - 02:17 |
| Eight Crazy Nights | 0 | I think it's about time Sandler stopped trying to impersonate a talented person and go back to whatever he was doing before acting, like flipping burgers or detailing cars. | 11/27/2002 - 02:32 |
| Elektra | 0 | In terms of tearing this movie apart, I think the most informative thing I can do for my readers is to supply a simple piece of information: On its opening weekend, "Elektra" was bettered at the box-office by "Racing Stripes." Can you imagine something like "Spiderman 2" being eclipsed by a talking zebra film? | 01/14/2005 - 22:53 |
| Elephant | 0 | That this film won the Palm d'Or at Cannes is a real testament to a couple of things: First, that just about any piece of crap can win at Cannes. | 10/03/2003 - 22:57 |
| End of Days | 0 | Why does the Devil always seem to have difficulty killing people when it's really necessary? | 11/24/1999 - 23:41 |
| Enough | 0 | This movie is so stupid and insulting that somebody ought to take director Michael Apted, producers Irwin Winkler and Rob Cowan, and screenwriter Nicholas Kazan, and toss them naked into a NOW meeting following a screening of this wretched piece of crap, then let the gathered women castrate each of them with the remnants of their audience reaction cards. | 05/24/2002 - 23:51 |
| Entrapment | 0 | Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have better chemistry than Connery and Zeta-Jones. | 04/30/1999 - 23:53 |
| Eragon | 1 | How come Durza can summon an army from the depths of hell but he can't hire better security? | 12/15/2006 - 00:01 |
| Escape to Witch Mountain | 0 | It's so important to find family and appreciate one's family and this movie teaches us that with some of the most incredible storytelling and special effects and Disney magic ever! | 08/24/1996 - 19:28 |
| Everything You Want | 0 | About two minutes in and I wanted to lay my penis on a windowsill and slam the window shut on it. | 04/17/2005 - 20:01 |
| Exorcist: The Beginning | 0 | I don't know how much Levitra a man has got to take before there's so much blood in his penis that his brain can't function at all, but clearly these studio executives have swallowed enough. | 08/20/2004 - 20:31 |
| Extreme Ops | 0 | That's what really bad movies sometimes do to you. You walk out of the theater and it's like the last 90 minutes of your life just vanished. | 11/27/2002 - 20:36 |
| FearDotCom | 0 | This inexplicable film doesn't deserve to be reviewed. | 08/30/2002 - 14:05 |