Dynamite Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
|Play It to the Bone||0|
This is a good metaphor for the directing career of Ron Shelton, who seemed somewhat coherent with "Bull Durham," but has steadily gone into the tank and now, with "Play it to the Bone," has graduated to a level of apoplexy that would do Ronald Reagan proud.
|01/21/2000 - 20:35|
It happens to be more than just a tad disgusting when a 300-pound woman who hasn't bathed in months decides to disgorge herself from her double-wide, show up on the Springer set, tear off her tube top and proceed to pummel her semi-toothed boyfriend about the head and shoulders with watermelon-sized, flaccid gray breasts.
|11/25/1998 - 20:26|
There you have it: crappy serendipity.
|09/07/2001 - 20:37|
This film caused the kind of pain I'd normally associate with being shot through the thigh by a rusty nail from a high-powered nail gun.
|02/09/2001 - 22:56|
Norm MacDonald's gift to the world is monotone whining.
|05/12/2000 - 01:41|
|See Spot Run||0|
Does our pathetic society really consist of people so incapable of entertaining themselves they would voluntarily go to see "See Spot Run"?
|03/02/2001 - 01:30|
NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH MATTHEW PERRY ON THE BIG SCREEN.
|08/23/2002 - 01:17|
One minute these guys are tossing semen into women's hair and now they're trying to teach us lessons about the inner beauty of the morbidly obese?
|11/09/2001 - 21:56|
|She's All That||0|
It's like emotional farting. You can actually see the fumes from this thing cascading off the screen like some computer-generated space anomaly overtaking the Enterprise as the audience sort of buckles from the impact.
|01/29/1999 - 21:46|
|She's So Lovely||0|
The credits of this abomination of filmmaking indicate that Cassavetes Sr. wrote it. I don't believe it. Not even a dead guy could produce a script this bad.
|08/27/1997 - 21:45|
This movie could prove lethal to frat boys who gather to watch it and take a drink every time they see a breast or someone uses the word "tit."
|09/22/1995 - 21:32|
"Shredder" is a straight-to-video disaster that was never intended for any other purpose than suckering those unfortunate enough to miss out on the last copy of "The Real Cancun."
|12/16/2003 - 21:27|
You know a movie is bad when I don't have to make anything up.
|02/05/1999 - 21:06|
|Son of the Mask||0|
Trying to replace Jim Carrey with Jaime Kennedy is like trying to replace Lassie with an animal cracker.
|02/18/2005 - 02:15|
The inside scoop on "Spy Hard" is that Disney stopped financing the thing after screenings produced fatalities.
|05/24/1996 - 01:34|
The other actress in this film that I love is Janeane Garofalo. She plays one of Sam's colleagues, Dr. Beth Levy. If you want to see just how great an actress Janeane is, watch this film. She has her head dyed blond and you can't even tell it's her. She is so amazing!
|10/21/2005 - 21:47|
The fact that "Stay Alive" finished third at the box office the week it opened speaks to the desperation of 13-to-17-year-olds for quality entertainment.
|03/24/2006 - 21:45|
The entire script . . . gives off a distinct odor leading one to suspect it may have been written by the same people who write press material.
|08/24/2001 - 22:24|
Unless you're a pancake, this movie is so over-the-top syrupy it's about as much fun as being duct-taped to Richard Simmons on ecstasy.
|02/16/2001 - 21:53|
|Tarzan and the Lost City||0|
If Jane March isn't evidence that at least some humans are descended from chimps, who is?
|04/24/1998 - 02:45|