Dynamite Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

MovieCommentsBlurbCreatedsort icon
Diary of a Mad Black Woman 0

It got so bad I wanted to call 911 and report an explosion at the platitude factory.

02/25/2005 - 16:09
Donkey Punch8

I felt like I was caught in a closet and being forced to watch four of my old high school friends go at it, only they had never done it before. Awkward.

01/29/2009 - 22:58
Doogal0

Seriously, society is in real trouble if "Doogal" is approved entertainment. Oh wait, come to think of it, society is in real trouble.

02/24/2006 - 16:37
Double Team0

Compounding my disappointment was the fact that the finale of the film didn't consist of Rodman cornering the bad guys and stomping their testicles to jelly.

04/04/1997 - 16:50
Driven0

This film is essentially the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of car racing movies.

04/27/2001 - 19:38
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd 1

What is it going to take for Hollywood to discover the meaning of the word "shame"?

06/13/2003 - 19:48
Dungeons and Dragons 1

This movie contains writing so bad that it forces normal people to curse God for allowing human communication to even exist.

12/08/2000 - 19:51
Ed0

Believe it or not, watching "Ed" provided divine inspiration, for Lo, I thought God had reached down from the Heavens and tightened the Holy Vice Grips on my bewildered brain.

03/15/1996 - 02:17
Eight Crazy Nights 0

I think it's about time Sandler stopped trying to impersonate a talented person and go back to whatever he was doing before acting, like flipping burgers or detailing cars.

11/27/2002 - 02:32
Elektra0

In terms of tearing this movie apart, I think the most informative thing I can do for my readers is to supply a simple piece of information: On its opening weekend, "Elektra" was bettered at the box-office by "Racing Stripes." Can you imagine something like "Spiderman 2" being eclipsed by a talking zebra film?

01/14/2005 - 22:53
Elephant0

That this film won the Palm d'Or at Cannes is a real testament to a couple of things: First, that just about any piece of crap can win at Cannes.

10/03/2003 - 22:57
End of Days0

Why does the Devil always seem to have difficulty killing people when it's really necessary?

11/24/1999 - 23:41
Enough0

This movie is so stupid and insulting that somebody ought to take director Michael Apted, producers Irwin Winkler and Rob Cowan, and screenwriter Nicholas Kazan, and toss them naked into a NOW meeting following a screening of this wretched piece of crap, then let the gathered women castrate each of them with the remnants of their audience reaction cards.

05/24/2002 - 23:51
Entrapment0

Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have better chemistry than Connery and Zeta-Jones.

04/30/1999 - 23:53
Eragon1

How come Durza can summon an army from the depths of hell but he can't hire better security?

12/15/2006 - 00:01
Escape to Witch Mountain 0

It's so important to find family and appreciate one's family and this movie teaches us that with some of the most incredible storytelling and special effects and Disney magic ever!

08/24/1996 - 19:28
Everything You Want0

About two minutes in and I wanted to lay my penis on a windowsill and slam the window shut on it.

04/17/2005 - 20:01
Exorcist: The Beginning 0

I don't know how much Levitra a man has got to take before there's so much blood in his penis that his brain can't function at all, but clearly these studio executives have swallowed enough.

08/20/2004 - 20:31
Extreme Ops0

That's what really bad movies sometimes do to you. You walk out of the theater and it's like the last 90 minutes of your life just vanished.

11/27/2002 - 20:36
FearDotCom0

This inexplicable film doesn't deserve to be reviewed.

08/30/2002 - 14:05