Four Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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Alien Vs. Predator1

What's next for Anderson? Maybe "Hannibal 2", in which Anthony Hopkins escorts a group of toddlers to Chuck E. Cheese?

08/13/2004 - 19:40
Along Came a Spider0

Thus, it should surprise no one that what's eventually expelled onto the screen resembles the discharge of an animal that's been eating poorly to begin with.

04/06/2001 - 20:08
American Buffalo0

This Mamet adaptation takesplace in a very confined space, involves little or no action and is mostly concerned with how many minutes an actor can spew Mamet's laborious dialogue without collapsing.

09/13/1996 - 20:14
American Outlaws0

This film has nothing to do with history and nothing to do with actual emotion.

08/17/2001 - 20:30
An American Haunting0

This is yet another PG-13 "horror" film, which means that the scariest it gets is when the ghost shakes young Betsy violently. Ooooh.

05/05/2006 - 20:25
An American Werewolf in Paris0

Andy has two problems common to most Americans: He's a moron and he's itching to get laid.

12/25/1997 - 20:46
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid0

It's probable that if a meteor landed right in the middle of Los Angeles, nobody would even notice. I say this because apparently nobody noticed that the first "Anaconda" sucked.

08/27/2004 - 21:13
Analyze That0

"The Sopranos" has been on long enough for everyone to fully appreciate every last facet of Italian-American mob life. There's not a single thing this film can add to that subject.

12/06/2002 - 20:59

Sometimes when I see a bad movie, I'm moved to think, "Wow, how awful. This feels like it must have been the first draft of the script." In the case of "Anchorman," if there's a completed first draft to be found at all, I'll lick a theater floor clean.

07/09/2004 - 21:14
Another Day in Paradise0

It's Melanie Griffith's best role yet... which islike saying the morphine shots are the best part about having first-degree burns over 80 percent of your body.

08/14/1999 - 21:42

They've elected to compensate for the use of the term "open source" by simplifying everything else in the film to a third-grade level.

01/12/2001 - 21:44
Any Given Sunday0

I don't know if Oliver is going through detox or what, but ever since "Natural Born Killers," he's moved the camera around like an epileptic in an earthquake.

12/22/1999 - 21:50
Anything Else0

This is the same old, tired crap that Woody Allen has been exporting for who knows how many years now. It's like drinking milk with an expiration date from the Reagan era.

09/19/2003 - 21:52

Welcome to "Con Airspace."

07/01/1998 - 03:54
Assassination Tango0

If Duvall can improve on his next effort, somebody might hire him to write and direct the return of the "Police Academy" movies. It would be a step up.

09/04/2003 - 14:52
At First Sight0

"At First Sight" is such a carbon-copyof "Awakenings" that you'd be well-advised to bring your alarm clock.

01/15/1999 - 15:06
Atlantis: Milo's Return0

This so-called animated "feature" is nothing more than three episodes of what was probably a failed television effort.

05/13/2003 - 15:10
Autumn In New York0

Love is a douche commercial.

08/11/2000 - 15:26
Baby Geniuses0

Director Bob Clark sees this as his bestopportunity since "Porky's" to re-establish himself as the Director to Watch by farting out an updated "Look Who's Talking XXVIII."

03/12/1999 - 21:08
Bad Moon0

Two hours of looking up at Marlon Brando's butt cheeks squashed flat against a glass tabletop would have been a preferable to this werewolf masterpiece.

11/01/1996 - 21:17