Four Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

Moviesort iconCommentsBlurbCreated
The Truth About Charlie0

Mark Wahlberg is to Cary Grant what the kazoo is to the violin.

10/25/2002 - 20:29
The Twilight Saga: New Moon2

The true goal of this film is to instill in teenage girls the desire to lose their virginity as soon as possible.

12/11/2009 - 20:32
The Virgin Suicides0

Sofia Coppola wrote and directed this film, which means twice the failure.

05/12/1999 - 04:12
The Whole Ten Yards0

Aside from maybe the Ebola or trying to correct the grammar in George W. Bush's first draft speechwriting efforts, I can think of nothing worse than watching Bruce Willis overact, unless that includes watching Matthew Perry overact on the same screen.

04/09/2004 - 02:49
The World is Not Enough1

As we all know, Bond is only as good as the guy who's about to kill him, and these days, Bond is just slightly better than a cub scout having a temper tantrum.

11/19/1999 - 23:01
The Young Posisoner's Handbook0

For at least an hour-and-a-half of this wretched film, I could have sworn my head was as heavy as a wrecking ball.

02/23/1995 - 22:36

This film is a "Wes Craven Presents" thing. You know, the type of film they want you to believe is by another filmmaker who's better than the one actually directing it.

11/27/2002 - 02:54

The only real lesson in this film is "stay away from gypsies". Apparently, gypsies are really vindictive and if you piss them off they'll put a hex on you and screw you good.

10/25/1996 - 02:46

If you went to Vegas three years ago and had to lay money down on whether in three years a movie based on a 1960s puppet show called "Thunderbirds" was going to get made or whether George W. Bush was going to announce a manned mission to the sun, I guarantee you that your money would have been on the manned mission to the sun regardless of whether you think George Bush is an idiot or a genius.

09/15/1970 - 02:50
Time Code0

Frankly, this is the kind of idea high school teachers whack their students on the head with a ruler for. It's stupid. It's annoying.

04/28/2000 - 01:52

This is a movie that's supposed to be interesting, fast-paced and suspenseful. It's boring, confusing and stupid.

11/26/2003 - 01:47
Tomb Raider0

If you're looking for plot holes, try not to break your neck falling into the ones in "Tomb Raider."

06/15/2001 - 01:33

Anyone requiring evidence that video games will eventually destroy cinema need go no further than a theater showing "Torque." The only thing missing from this movie was a joystick.

01/16/2004 - 01:25
Treasure Planet0

Having sampled both "Treasure Planet" the movie and "Treasure Planet" the McDonald's Happy Meal, I'm electing to review the Happy Meal.

11/27/2002 - 00:50
Trees Lounge0

"Trees Lounge" is deadly dull, uninspiring, slowly paced and has a plotthat can be simply described as "man discovers something about himself."

10/11/1996 - 20:52

Take a look at the children of the dentist during the interview. They're wearing rigid smiles on their faces that scream "help me" so loud you want to call Social Services.

11/08/1997 - 20:51
Trial and Error0

As Jonathan Lynn's directorial future spirals down the great caree rtoilet, he makes a pathetic, last-ditch attempt to jump on his own negligible coattails.

05/30/1997 - 20:50
Twin Dragons0

Nobody on this planet gave Jean-Claude Van Damme a break for making "Double Impact," so I don't know why Jackie Chan should get some special dispensation for this horrible film.

04/09/1992 - 20:19

All the people in this film are such caricatures that dropping a bomb on the town of Superior, Arizona would have had all the emotional resonance of a Jimmy Swaggart confessional.

10/03/1997 - 18:52

Suffice it to say that the film's most interesting thing is a skateboarding bulldog. Each time the thing shows up on screen it's like a rat running through the theater. Suddenly, the movie just doesn't matter and all you want to know is where the rat went and when it's coming back.

08/26/2006 - 19:37