Four Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
| Movie | Comments | Blurb | Created |
|---|---|---|---|
| Planet of the Apes (2001) | 0 | Apparently, shelter and human rights are nonexistent on Planet Ape, but lip gloss is plentiful. | 07/27/2001 - 20:32 |
| Portrait of a Lady | 0 | After about an hour of this literary vomit, the only point in watching it is to see if it has one. | 01/17/1997 - 21:31 |
| Poseidon | 0 | I must admit I have a soft spot in my heart for disaster films that are themselves disasters. It makes my job easy. | 05/12/2006 - 21:32 |
| Radio | 0 | This is the feel good hit of the fall. No wait: It's the feel good hit of the year! No, it's the feel good hit of the new millennium! Wait, I'd say it's the feel good hit of all-time!! Ever! Yay! | 10/23/2003 - 22:34 |
| Ray | 0 | Maybe heroin's not so bad after all! | 10/24/2004 - 03:59 |
| Ready to Rumble | 0 | David Arquette's name on a film is an open invitation for me to douse my naked body in honey and run into the bear cage at the local zoo. | 04/07/2000 - 04:02 |
| Red Corner | 0 | It's amazing that these Chinese can apparently put down an entire revolution on national television, but can't figure out how to shoot one annoying American lawyer in the head. | 10/31/1997 - 04:08 |
| Rent | 0 | Ironically, the only thing I liked about "Rent" was that I didn't have to pay for it. | 11/23/2005 - 04:33 |
| Resident Evil: Apocalypse | 0 | Nothing worse can be said about a movie than having your brain involuntary erase the thing from your memory. | 09/10/2004 - 19:53 |
| Ritual | 0 | Let's talk about Jennifer Grey's nose. | 09/14/2001 - 20:27 |
| Romeo Must Die | 0 | Jet Li appears. Jet Li kicks ass. It doesn't take a member of MENSA to figure that out. Unfortunately, first-time director Adrezej Bartkowiak would be lucky to spell MENSA. | 03/22/2000 - 20:48 |
| Rugrats in Paris and 102 Dalmations | 0 | Hollywood plotting and my idiotic ideas have partnered in a horrific cosmic dance. | 11/17/2000 - 20:26 |
| Running Scared | 0 | There's so much jump-cutting and first-person action in this thing that I skipped the popcorn and opted for the extra-large bucket of Rolaids. | 02/24/2006 - 21:33 |
| Saw II | 0 | This isn't quite "Blair Witch Project 2" bad, but it's pretty close. | 10/28/2005 - 22:54 |
| Saw III | 0 | If there's an axiom about movies that is mostly true and interesting, it's that films (and particular types of films that get made over and over again within a certain time period) are representative of their era. Welcome to George Bush's America and the "Saw" series. | 10/27/2006 - 22:52 |
| Say It Isn't So | 0 | "Hey, look! This film has all sorts of poo-poo and wee-wee humor in it! Come see it!" | 03/23/2001 - 22:51 |
| Scary Movie 2 | 0 | This movie is barely an hour long, so not only is it bad, but the amount paid for each bad minute was such that I felt even more ripped off. | 07/04/2001 - 22:45 |
| Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed | 0 | Sitting through this film I simply felt defeated. | 03/26/2004 - 01:53 |
| Scooby-Doo | 0 | What exactly compels the American public to throw $56 million at a movie like "Scooby-Doo," a movie so dumb it's unlikely to catalyze a single neural synapse within its catatonic, drooling audience? | 06/14/2002 - 22:37 |
| Scorpius Gigantus | 0 | What really pisses me off is that the film features a tough-as-nails female solider named Dokic (Evgenia Vasileva) who is not naked. | 09/13/2006 - 01:48 |