Four Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

MovieCommentssort iconBlurbCreated

A couple more bad lines and a couple more cheesy special effects and Arnold Schwarzenegger's latest could easily have been remembered as the "Showgirls" of action pictures.

06/26/1996 - 00:03
Escape from L.A. 0

It stretches the very definition of "pathetic" when a filmmaker has so few creative inspirations that he's forced to rip himself off.

08/09/1996 - 19:23

"Evolution" develops into little more than "Ghostbusters" with more computer graphics and less humor.

06/08/2001 - 20:06
Executive Decision 0

The moral of the story for minorities: Obey the white people or they'll shoot you full of holes.

03/15/1996 - 20:13
Exit Wounds0

When this fact was actually "revealed" in the theater, a comatose grandmother in the front row momentarily came to life and screamed, "No shit!"

03/16/2001 - 20:26
Eye of the Beholder0

The movie soon starts to unravel like John Goodman and Rosie O'Donnell doing a synchronized striptease.

01/28/2000 - 20:39

Cher attempts to be convincing by making fun of people who have undergone plastic surgery.

04/03/1996 - 20:43
Fantastic Four0

Even pre-teens might not have their mental abilities taxed during this particular comic book adaptation. The movie is about as deep as a silverware tray and the cast was culled during the coffee break over at the FX network.

07/08/2005 - 21:05
Fast Food Nation1

The burgers aren't the only things that contain fecal matter.

11/17/2006 - 13:53
Fat Albert0


12/25/2004 - 14:00
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas 0

Rarely, if ever, are drug stories interesting to anybody other than the people to whom they happen.

05/22/1998 - 14:04
Final Destination 30

With any luck, the third film is the final destination for the entire series.

02/10/2006 - 14:26
Fire Down Below2

The next time you step over that blind paraplegic epileptic AIDS victim on the sidewalk, look twice -- it may be Seagal preparing for his next role.

09/05/1997 - 14:41

While "Firestorm" is high on computer-generated fire effects, it's lacking in believable character motivations.

01/09/1998 - 14:46
First Kid0

(Director David Mickey) Evans was responsible for writing the atrocious "RadioFlyer" and directing "The Sandlot," yet, instead of being imprisoned, he's still being allowed to make films.

08/30/1996 - 14:52

You'll hear the words "get the disk" so many times, you'll seriously consider giving up the comforts of modern life and moving into a grass hut somewhere.

07/19/1996 - 15:20

"Flubber" is further evidence of the death of cinema.

11/26/1997 - 15:57
For Richer or Poorer 0

Director Bryan Spicer is quickly developing the kind of resume that gives producers erections because they know that, no matter what, this is a man whose ass can really relax to having a hand way up it.

12/12/1997 - 16:11
Forces of Nature0

Let's see, Ben Affleck is stuck with Sandra Bullock in a small vehicle, and they're driving all the way to Georgia. Is he going to fall in love with her even though they're complete opposites? Holy shit, I think so.

03/19/1999 - 16:06
Formula 510

Just say NO.

10/18/2002 - 16:12