Four Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
A couple more bad lines and a couple more cheesy special effects and Arnold Schwarzenegger's latest could easily have been remembered as the "Showgirls" of action pictures.
|06/26/1996 - 00:03|
|Escape from L.A.||0|
It stretches the very definition of "pathetic" when a filmmaker has so few creative inspirations that he's forced to rip himself off.
|08/09/1996 - 19:23|
"Evolution" develops into little more than "Ghostbusters" with more computer graphics and less humor.
|06/08/2001 - 20:06|
The moral of the story for minorities: Obey the white people or they'll shoot you full of holes.
|03/15/1996 - 20:13|
When this fact was actually "revealed" in the theater, a comatose grandmother in the front row momentarily came to life and screamed, "No shit!"
|03/16/2001 - 20:26|
|Eye of the Beholder||0|
The movie soon starts to unravel like John Goodman and Rosie O'Donnell doing a synchronized striptease.
|01/28/2000 - 20:39|
Cher attempts to be convincing by making fun of people who have undergone plastic surgery.
|04/03/1996 - 20:43|
Even pre-teens might not have their mental abilities taxed during this particular comic book adaptation. The movie is about as deep as a silverware tray and the cast was culled during the coffee break over at the FX network.
|07/08/2005 - 21:05|
|Fast Food Nation||1|
The burgers aren't the only things that contain fecal matter.
|11/17/2006 - 13:53|
|12/25/2004 - 14:00|
|Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas||0|
Rarely, if ever, are drug stories interesting to anybody other than the people to whom they happen.
|05/22/1998 - 14:04|
|Final Destination 3||0|
With any luck, the third film is the final destination for the entire series.
|02/10/2006 - 14:26|
|Fire Down Below||2|
The next time you step over that blind paraplegic epileptic AIDS victim on the sidewalk, look twice -- it may be Seagal preparing for his next role.
|09/05/1997 - 14:41|
While "Firestorm" is high on computer-generated fire effects, it's lacking in believable character motivations.
|01/09/1998 - 14:46|
(Director David Mickey) Evans was responsible for writing the atrocious "RadioFlyer" and directing "The Sandlot," yet, instead of being imprisoned, he's still being allowed to make films.
|08/30/1996 - 14:52|
You'll hear the words "get the disk" so many times, you'll seriously consider giving up the comforts of modern life and moving into a grass hut somewhere.
|07/19/1996 - 15:20|
"Flubber" is further evidence of the death of cinema.
|11/26/1997 - 15:57|
|For Richer or Poorer||0|
Director Bryan Spicer is quickly developing the kind of resume that gives producers erections because they know that, no matter what, this is a man whose ass can really relax to having a hand way up it.
|12/12/1997 - 16:11|
|Forces of Nature||0|
Let's see, Ben Affleck is stuck with Sandra Bullock in a small vehicle, and they're driving all the way to Georgia. Is he going to fall in love with her even though they're complete opposites? Holy shit, I think so.
|03/19/1999 - 16:06|
Just say NO.
|10/18/2002 - 16:12|