Four Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

MovieCommentssort iconBlurbCreated
Hard Ball0

According to this movie, the little black kids of America owe all their sports knowledge, acumen, physical skills and inspiration to the white man.

09/14/2001 - 16:19
Harriet the Spy0

"Harriet the Spy" is a classic example of Hollywood giving inexperienced, talentless sacks of dung a few million dollars to go make a movie.

07/10/1996 - 16:27
Hart's War0

There are two simple moments in this film that automatically, without anything else happening in the film, earn it two extra bombs.

02/15/2002 - 16:41
Haute Tension0

Someday, somebody out there in the great, wide world will come up with an original idea and it will be appropriately lauded for its originality. The ideas in "Haute Tension" don't meet that criteria.

06/10/2005 - 16:48
Head of State0

Rock's directorial debut, "Head of State" posits that it would be funny if Rock ran for president. It's not.

03/28/2003 - 16:51
Head Over Heels0

I'm not sure who cast this movie, but the only way they could have come up with two duller performances would have been to have the two leads play their characters using sock puppets.

02/02/2001 - 16:53
Heaven's Prisoners0

Hot weather is always an excellent excuse to have Alec Baldwin in any movie, if only to offer the audience the distraction of watching pools of sweat soak through his clothing -- he steps outside for five minutes and looks like he's been lactating.

05/17/1996 - 17:02
Hellraiser: Bloodline0

Pinhead looks and sounds like Prince Charles after a bad facial and is about as frightening.

03/08/1996 - 17:13
Henry Fool0

That this film won a screenwriting award at Cannes is an absolute joke.

06/19/1999 - 17:16
Herbie: Fully Loaded 0

The veneer of wholesomeness that covers a typical Disney movie almost always masks a seamy undercurrent roiling just beneath the surface.

06/22/2005 - 17:18
Hide and Seek0

When the movie finally revealed the killer, my eyes just rolled back into my head like the dials on a slot machine. The only way I could have been more indignant was if the killer had been the family cat.

01/28/2005 - 17:25
Hideous Kinky 0

Director Gillies MacKinnon's film is about discovery, yet I waited like a buzzing fly around a horribly constipated dog for MacKinnon to discover something, anything.

04/26/1999 - 17:26
Highlander: Endgame 0

At first, I thought the sword sequences were in slow-motion, but then I realized these guys just suck.

09/01/2001 - 20:00
Hollywood Ending0

As Woody Allen gets older, watching his movies is like watching a guy in a wheelchair roll down a steep hill toward a busy intersection.

05/03/2002 - 20:16
Hollywood Homicide0

"Hollywood Homicide" is dead on arrival.

06/13/2003 - 20:18
Holy Man0

Aside from being incomprehensibly stupid, this film is also blatantly racist. Here's why.

10/09/1998 - 20:23
Home Alone 30

If the side of the package says "eat shit," we'll eat shit.

12/12/1997 - 20:25
Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco 0

What could be more excruciating then listening to Michael J. Fox whine like an adolescent who's eaten about five too many Milky Ways?

03/08/1996 - 20:28
House Arrest0

It would seem that someone got a story idea about kids locking their divorcing parents in a basement, then the Prozac really kicked in,and the last eighty pages were left to the chimpanzees.

08/14/1996 - 20:49
House of 1000 Corpses 0

"House of 1000 Corpses" is written and directed by Rob Zombie, a man with all the creative power of testicle sweat.

04/11/2003 - 20:48