Four Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
I would laugh at the idea of Adam Sandler affecting a speech impediment for a role -- if it just weren't so sad.
|11/10/2000 - 02:52|
Almodovar apparently had a script scrawled on a couple of cocktail napkins, and tried to stretch that into an entire movie.
|01/16/1998 - 20:22|
|Lords of Dogtown||0|
"Lords of Dogtown" feels like half a movie that's been stretched to look like a whole one.
|06/03/2005 - 20:48|
Pretty much all of Kevin Smith's films suck, and the people who like them are buttsniff crackheads whose parents often must take legal action to get them out of the house when they turn eighteen.
|10/20/1995 - 20:42|
|Man of the House||0|
Some movies are so bad these days that you don't actually have to see them to know what's going to happen or how most of the jokes will develop, but that's how it is when filmmakers estimate their audience's cumulative IQ at about 90.
|02/25/2005 - 20:49|
Breaking into the world's most sophisticated computer systems is easy. All you do is type something obvious like "FIND PASSWORD" or "BREAK INTO COMPUTER."
|08/22/1997 - 21:20|
|Max Keeble's Big Move||0|
After seeing "Home Alone 3" I based the remaining years of my existence on the theory that I would never again have to see Alex D. Linz in a movie.
|10/05/2001 - 21:35|
|Me, Myself & Irene||0|
People starve to death in this world, and (Carrey) makes twenty million dollars per film for mugging like the bozo he seems to be in real life.
|06/23/2000 - 21:45|
|Meet the Deedles||0|
I can understand two losers like Paul Walker and Steve Van Wormer taking these roles, but what is Dennis Hopper doing here? Doesn't he have better things to do?
|03/27/1998 - 21:54|
|Meet the Fockers||0|
In a film that sports De Niro, Hoffman, Streisand, and Blythe Danner, it's kind of hard to believe director Jay Roach so easily reverts to such tried and true comedy as "dog humping the leg" jokes, but that's what happens with a concept that should never have made it past the planning stages.
|12/22/2004 - 21:56|
|Memoirs of a Geisha||2|
Pure and simple, this film is racist. It's a film about Japanese culture and the three leading actresses, Michelle Yeoh, Ziyi Zhang and Gong Li, are all Chinese.
|12/23/2005 - 17:12|
|Message in a Bottle||0|
There's nothing like a 6-foot-11-inch black man to screw up a short, horny white woman's fantasy about romance.
|02/12/1999 - 05:32|
If you're one of the few people who leave the theater not feeling like you've had a two-by-four shoved up your rear end, count yourself blessed.
|12/25/1996 - 05:41|
|Midnight in Paris||0|
The weird part about the advertising for "Midnight in Paris" is that it wasn't at all presented as some kind of time travel fantasy, which meant I left my aviator goggles and opium ampoules at home.
|07/01/2011 - 08:23|
I'm not often confused at the end of a movie, but I'd swear I fell asleep with my eyes open during this one because the climax is virtually incomprehensible.
|05/13/1995 - 22:48|
When William Shatner is your film's most reserved actor, the whole project is in a lot of trouble.
|12/22/2000 - 23:00|
Screenwriters can now write these movies using only a "plot by numbers" system and a touch-tone phone.
|08/22/1997 - 23:34|
I frequently find that unintentional bad grammar is an immediate indicator that a movie is going to suck.
|05/13/2005 - 01:25|
My low pain threshold won't allow me to rehash "Morning Glory's" plot any further, but I will leave you with this word of advice: Jeff Goldblum has become this generation's kiss of death for both box office and critical success.
|11/21/2010 - 17:41|
|Mortal Kombat: Annihilation||0|
EVERTHING THAT COULD BE LARGER AND LOUDER IN THIS FILM IS, WHICH IS TYPICAL OF SEQUELS THAT KNOW THEY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER OTHER THAN THE TITLE OF A PREVIOUS FILM.
|11/21/1997 - 01:35|