Four Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
|The Truth About Charlie||0|
Mark Wahlberg is to Cary Grant what the kazoo is to the violin.
|10/25/2002 - 20:29|
|The Twilight Saga: New Moon||2|
The true goal of this film is to instill in teenage girls the desire to lose their virginity as soon as possible.
|12/11/2009 - 20:32|
|The Virgin Suicides||0|
Sofia Coppola wrote and directed this film, which means twice the failure.
|05/12/1999 - 04:12|
|The Whole Ten Yards||0|
Aside from maybe the Ebola or trying to correct the grammar in George W. Bush's first draft speechwriting efforts, I can think of nothing worse than watching Bruce Willis overact, unless that includes watching Matthew Perry overact on the same screen.
|04/09/2004 - 02:49|
|The World is Not Enough||1|
As we all know, Bond is only as good as the guy who's about to kill him, and these days, Bond is just slightly better than a cub scout having a temper tantrum.
|11/19/1999 - 23:01|
|The Young Posisoner's Handbook||0|
For at least an hour-and-a-half of this wretched film, I could have sworn my head was as heavy as a wrecking ball.
|02/23/1995 - 22:36|
This film is a "Wes Craven Presents" thing. You know, the type of film they want you to believe is by another filmmaker who's better than the one actually directing it.
|11/27/2002 - 02:54|
The only real lesson in this film is "stay away from gypsies". Apparently, gypsies are really vindictive and if you piss them off they'll put a hex on you and screw you good.
|10/25/1996 - 02:46|
If you went to Vegas three years ago and had to lay money down on whether in three years a movie based on a 1960s puppet show called "Thunderbirds" was going to get made or whether George W. Bush was going to announce a manned mission to the sun, I guarantee you that your money would have been on the manned mission to the sun regardless of whether you think George Bush is an idiot or a genius.
|09/15/1970 - 02:50|
Frankly, this is the kind of idea high school teachers whack their students on the head with a ruler for. It's stupid. It's annoying.
|04/28/2000 - 01:52|
This is a movie that's supposed to be interesting, fast-paced and suspenseful. It's boring, confusing and stupid.
|11/26/2003 - 01:47|
If you're looking for plot holes, try not to break your neck falling into the ones in "Tomb Raider."
|06/15/2001 - 01:33|
Anyone requiring evidence that video games will eventually destroy cinema need go no further than a theater showing "Torque." The only thing missing from this movie was a joystick.
|01/16/2004 - 01:25|
Having sampled both "Treasure Planet" the movie and "Treasure Planet" the McDonald's Happy Meal, I'm electing to review the Happy Meal.
|11/27/2002 - 00:50|
"Trees Lounge" is deadly dull, uninspiring, slowly paced and has a plotthat can be simply described as "man discovers something about himself."
|10/11/1996 - 20:52|
Take a look at the children of the dentist during the interview. They're wearing rigid smiles on their faces that scream "help me" so loud you want to call Social Services.
|11/08/1997 - 20:51|
|Trial and Error||0|
As Jonathan Lynn's directorial future spirals down the great caree rtoilet, he makes a pathetic, last-ditch attempt to jump on his own negligible coattails.
|05/30/1997 - 20:50|
Nobody on this planet gave Jean-Claude Van Damme a break for making "Double Impact," so I don't know why Jackie Chan should get some special dispensation for this horrible film.
|04/09/1992 - 20:19|
All the people in this film are such caricatures that dropping a bomb on the town of Superior, Arizona would have had all the emotional resonance of a Jimmy Swaggart confessional.
|10/03/1997 - 18:52|
Suffice it to say that the film's most interesting thing is a skateboarding bulldog. Each time the thing shows up on screen it's like a rat running through the theater. Suddenly, the movie just doesn't matter and all you want to know is where the rat went and when it's coming back.
|08/26/2006 - 19:37|