Four Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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How High0

I don't have the slightest idea who these two guys are, but they must have the best agents in the world because somehow they're starring in a movie about smoking dope.

12/21/2001 - 21:02
How Stella Got Her Groove Back 0

Director Kevin Rodney Sullivan may not be very good at getting me to care about his characters, but I was definitely wondering how he got them so shiny.

08/14/1998 - 21:05

There's really nothing going for this film at all.

03/06/1998 - 21:15
I Am David0

Jim Caviezel's character once again bites it for the sins of fellow characters which is something I'm getting a little sick of. Dying for the sins of others once is perfectly fine, but make a habit of it and you kind of start to look selfish.

11/04/2004 - 02:26
I Know What You Did Last Summer 0

If I were a cop and I had seen both "Scream" and this film, I'd beat writer Kevin Williamson's house searching it for drugs.

10/17/1997 - 02:43
I Spy0

"I Spy" might be nothing more than a cinematic annoyance akin to rolling around in beach sand and wondering afterward if that last speck or two will ever make its way out of your crack.

11/01/2002 - 02:50
I Still Know What Your Breasts Did Last Summer 0

Look at the advertisements or the poster for this film and you instantly know what it's about. Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts take up as much space as her head while taking up about 50% more space than Brandy's head.

11/13/1998 - 02:52
I'll Be Home for Christmas 0

"Hey, I've got this Christmas film. Let's get that woman, Arlene Sanford, who directed 'A Very Brady Sequel' to do it." That's like saying, "Hey, I've got all this cocaine I need transported safely across the country. Let's get Robert Downey, Jr. to do it."

11/13/1998 - 03:07
Idle Hands0

Apparently sensitive souls at the studio felt that a horror comedy about a teen whose hand is possessed and kills people might inspire somebody to cut off his own hand and encourage it to kill people.

04/30/1999 - 03:21
Igby Goes Down 0

Spending two hours locked in a dark room with these characters is like being forced to endure your own free sample of hell.

05/01/2003 - 03:24
In the Mood for Love 0

If you thought the British had a hard time expressing their emotions, the mood in this film makes the Changing of the Guard look like Mardi Gras.

02/26/2001 - 21:14
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull10

The movie would have been more exciting if it took place 25 years later, and Indiana Jones's main struggle was trying not to break his hip on the way to bingo night.

05/06/2008 - 20:06

Ultimately, this film is a misogynistic piece of garbage.

08/29/2003 - 21:47
Into the Blue0

Director John Stockwell has taken ass filming to a whole new level here, having apparently typecast himself with "Blue Crush." His asscrackcam shots are indeed a thing of wonder.

09/30/2005 - 21:50
It Runs in the Family 0

Director Fred Schepisi, who's last remotely tolerable film was "Six Degrees of Separation" a whopping ten years ago, conducts this film like he's the one who's had a stroke.

04/25/2003 - 22:20
Jack Frost1

How ironic that a film supposedly lauding the heartwarming catharsis of human connection relies almost entirely on computer graphics.

12/11/1998 - 05:59
Jakob the Liar 0

We need another Holocaust film like we need another Holocaust.

09/24/1999 - 16:31
Jason X0

The script for "Aliens" has apparently been introduced into the public domain.

04/26/2002 - 16:37
Jeepers Creepers0

The writer/director of this film, Victor Salva, is a convicted child molester. I guess just about anything is forgiven in Hollywood unless you happen to diddle Michael Eisner's kids by mistake.

08/31/2001 - 16:41
Jeepers Creepers 20

Just because Victor Salva once filmed himself molesting a sixth-grade child actor while making a horror film about evil clowns is no reason to judge him harshly or not give him your money.

08/29/2003 - 16:43