One Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
Movie | Comments | Blurb | Created |
|---|---|---|---|
| The City of Lost Children | 0 | The second you see the midget, the gig is up and the whole premise of the film is blown. | 12/15/2000 - 22:40 |
| The Dark Knight | 26 | This whole ethical conundrum is, of course, complete bullshit, which means that “The Dark Knight” is complete bullshit. | 09/16/2008 - 16:12 |
| The Departed | 0 | I guess because director Martin Scorsese hasn't had any recent luck, box-office or award-wise, with his own films, he's decided to go and steal something successful from Asia. | 10/06/2006 - 15:05 |
| The Exorcist | 0 | This film could have used a whole lot less back-story and a whole lot more projectile vomiting. | 12/26/2000 - 20:28 |
| The Fog (2005) | 0 | You'll be agog watching "The Fog." | 10/14/2005 - 16:03 |
| The General | 0 | Truth may be stranger than fiction sometimes;here it's only slightly more boring. | 12/18/1998 - 00:10 |
| The Godfather | 0 | Take Mr. Cranky's one-question quiz. | 08/27/1997 - 20:39 |
| The Great Escape | 1 | Then they sat around and tickled each other's testicle hairs while their prisoners dug so many tunnels under their camp the Germans could have financed the war by opening up a theme park. | 08/27/2001 - 22:03 |
| The Hangover | 10 | Essentially an epic extension of the comedic penis' penetration into the mainstream | 06/08/2009 - 22:03 |
| The Hours | 0 | "The Hours" is all about lesbians and anybody who knows anything about movies knows that the main reason you put lesbians in a movie is very simple: hot lesbian sex. | 01/24/2003 - 20:46 |
| The Hulk | 0 | "The Hulk" is not just crap -- it's green crap, and if that's not a bad sign, I don't know what is. | 06/20/2003 - 21:07 |
| The Incredibles | 0 | you'll find that the only action is in the middle of audience, in the middle of the burgeoning kiddie riot. | 11/05/2004 - 21:22 |
| The Killers | 2 | This Ernest Hemingway story has been remade several times. What people don't understand is this: If the story was any good, it would never have been remade because it would have been right the first time. | 09/01/1997 - 21:37 |
| The King's Speech | 6 | Let's face it – Hollywood is running out of ideas when it comes to casting male leads in roles where they overcome some form of disability in order to win an Oscar. | 01/09/2011 - 12:19 |
| The Lady and the Tramp | 0 | Eventually, I got bored with the DVD and spent the rest of the evening licking my own genitals and crapping in the neighbor's yard. | 09/02/1998 - 01:47 |
| The Limey | 0 | Presently, you begin to wonder whether the concessionaire accidentally slipped you a heaping cup of Robitussin over crushed ice instead of Pepsi. | 08/04/1999 - 15:51 |
| The Little Mermaid | 3 | This film is perverted. | 09/03/2000 - 02:51 |
| The Maltese Falcon | 0 | This film is no more than candy for a slow mind. | 09/04/1997 - 20:44 |
| The Matrix | 4 | Did the Wachowski brothers really sit down and decide to spend a hundred million dollars making their dream sci-fi film, then proceed to hire a guy with all the acting range of a carp? | 03/31/1999 - 21:29 |
| The Matrix Reloaded | 0 | So after turning self-consciously intellectual, this is what the newly reclusive Wachowski brothers bring us? Andy (the smart one) and Larry (the slow one) serve up a second-rate humanistic philosophy that will have you wondering whether Gandhi's secret dream might have been to dance around in slow motion and pump bullets into everything that moved. | 05/15/2003 - 21:30 |