One Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
Apparently, after Hollywood witnessed Gina admiring Elizabeth Berkley's breasts in "Showgirls," they convinced themselves that Gina must actually be a lesbian and had to be cast in every juicy lesbian role that comes out of Hollywood.
|10/04/1996 - 21:21|
If Dilbert smoked crack, this is the film he would see in his mind.
|08/19/2000 - 21:53|
Instead of descending into tragic self-parody like Michael Myers, or only saying yes to movies that allow for the employment of talentless hangers-on like Adam Sandler, Wiig has elected to become a male chauvinist lapdog.
|07/14/2011 - 14:04|
|12/16/2005 - 22:48|
People often mistake "Casablanca" as one of the greatest films of all time.
|08/20/1998 - 17:16|
|Catch Me If You Can||0|
There's nothing quite like a Steven Spielberg film to get a herd of fidgety film critics out in droves to suck some Hollywood wang.
|12/25/2002 - 17:47|
"Cedar Rapids" sort of plays out like "Best in Show" meets "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," only instead of a Ferrari crashing through a crowd of Pekinese, we get to see John C. Reilly masturbate in a pool with a garbage can lid on his head.
|03/21/2011 - 06:43|
Dutch director Mike Van Diem's emotionless drama is so chillingly excessive in its rendering of cold human beings that it makes Merchant-Ivory films look like orgy-laden pornos by comparison.
|03/27/1998 - 21:27|
|Che: The Roadshow Edition||3|
Che Guevara was an asshole.
|04/01/2009 - 16:17|
Frankly, if Zellweger could just borrow a little of what Queen Latifah has got, she'd have way more than she could handle.
|01/24/2003 - 21:57|
This just proves that historical movies treat history much like a chimp treats the glass at the zoo.
|06/03/2005 - 22:27|
A sled! A f@#$ing sled!
|08/20/1999 - 22:30|
|Courage Under Fire||0|
Isn't it just like Hollywood to beat us over the head with catharsis until we don't know up from down?
|07/12/1996 - 20:32|
|Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon||0|
"Hidden Zebra, Squatting What?"
|12/22/2000 - 21:01|
Though pondering the nature of existence might feel like a higher calling to the person doing it, to other people watching it just looks like you're masturbating.
|08/21/1997 - 21:14|
Seen one U-boat, seen them all.
|08/19/2000 - 20:57|
Remember when your own parents would go out for dinner once a month, and then come home gassy, bloated and cranky from the bad buffet food and terrible service? This movie is just like that, minus the General Tao chicken.
|04/30/2010 - 05:46|
|Dead Man Walking||0|
Liberals are so god-damned annoying because they want you to think about every little thing.
|01/12/1996 - 14:41|
|Drag Me to Hell||0|
Note: give any disgusting one-eyed old lady with a Hungarian accent who puts her filthy dentures on your desk whatever the fuck she wants.
|07/09/2009 - 18:47|
|Dream with the Fishes||0|
Given that this is a convention-defying independent film,it ends with the requisite cathartic ritual.
|06/20/1997 - 19:30|