One Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
| Movie | Comments | Blurb | Created |
|---|---|---|---|
| Bound | 0 | Apparently, after Hollywood witnessed Gina admiring Elizabeth Berkley's breasts in "Showgirls," they convinced themselves that Gina must actually be a lesbian and had to be cast in every juicy lesbian role that comes out of Hollywood. | 10/04/1996 - 21:21 |
| Brazil | 0 | If Dilbert smoked crack, this is the film he would see in his mind. | 08/19/2000 - 21:53 |
| Bridesmaids | 0 | Instead of descending into tragic self-parody like Michael Myers, or only saying yes to movies that allow for the employment of talentless hangers-on like Adam Sandler, Wiig has elected to become a male chauvinist lapdog. | 07/14/2011 - 14:04 |
| Brokeback Mountain | 0 | Warning: Euphemisms! | 12/16/2005 - 22:48 |
| Casablanca | 5 | People often mistake "Casablanca" as one of the greatest films of all time. | 08/20/1998 - 17:16 |
| Catch Me If You Can | 0 | There's nothing quite like a Steven Spielberg film to get a herd of fidgety film critics out in droves to suck some Hollywood wang. | 12/25/2002 - 17:47 |
| Cedar Rapids | 0 | "Cedar Rapids" sort of plays out like "Best in Show" meets "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," only instead of a Ferrari crashing through a crowd of Pekinese, we get to see John C. Reilly masturbate in a pool with a garbage can lid on his head. | 03/21/2011 - 06:43 |
| Character | 0 | Dutch director Mike Van Diem's emotionless drama is so chillingly excessive in its rendering of cold human beings that it makes Merchant-Ivory films look like orgy-laden pornos by comparison. | 03/27/1998 - 21:27 |
| Che: The Roadshow Edition | 3 | Che Guevara was an asshole. | 04/01/2009 - 16:17 |
| Chicago | 0 | Frankly, if Zellweger could just borrow a little of what Queen Latifah has got, she'd have way more than she could handle. | 01/24/2003 - 21:57 |
| Cinderella Man | 0 | This just proves that historical movies treat history much like a chimp treats the glass at the zoo. | 06/03/2005 - 22:27 |
| Citizen Kane | 3 | A sled! A f@#$ing sled! | 08/20/1999 - 22:30 |
| Courage Under Fire | 0 | Isn't it just like Hollywood to beat us over the head with catharsis until we don't know up from down? | 07/12/1996 - 20:32 |
| Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon | 0 | "Hidden Zebra, Squatting What?" | 12/22/2000 - 21:01 |
| Cure | 0 | Though pondering the nature of existence might feel like a higher calling to the person doing it, to other people watching it just looks like you're masturbating. | 08/21/1997 - 21:14 |
| Das Boot | 1 | Seen one U-boat, seen them all. | 08/19/2000 - 20:57 |
| Date Night | 6 | Remember when your own parents would go out for dinner once a month, and then come home gassy, bloated and cranky from the bad buffet food and terrible service? This movie is just like that, minus the General Tao chicken. | 04/30/2010 - 05:46 |
| Dead Man Walking | 0 | Liberals are so god-damned annoying because they want you to think about every little thing. | 01/12/1996 - 14:41 |
| Drag Me to Hell | 0 | Note: give any disgusting one-eyed old lady with a Hungarian accent who puts her filthy dentures on your desk whatever the fuck she wants. | 07/09/2009 - 18:47 |
| Dream with the Fishes | 0 | Given that this is a convention-defying independent film,it ends with the requisite cathartic ritual. | 06/20/1997 - 19:30 |