One Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

MovieCommentssort iconBlurbCreated
The City of Lost Children 0

The second you see the midget, the gig is up and the whole premise of the film is blown.

12/15/2000 - 22:40
The Dark Knight26

This whole ethical conundrum is, of course, complete bullshit, which means that “The Dark Knight” is complete bullshit.

09/16/2008 - 16:12
The Departed0

I guess because director Martin Scorsese hasn't had any recent luck, box-office or award-wise, with his own films, he's decided to go and steal something successful from Asia.

10/06/2006 - 15:05
The Exorcist0

This film could have used a whole lot less back-story and a whole lot more projectile vomiting.

12/26/2000 - 20:28
The Fog (2005)0

You'll be agog watching "The Fog."

10/14/2005 - 16:03
The General0

Truth may be stranger than fiction sometimes;here it's only slightly more boring.

12/18/1998 - 00:10
The Godfather0

Take Mr. Cranky's one-question quiz.

08/27/1997 - 20:39
The Great Escape1

Then they sat around and tickled each other's testicle hairs while their prisoners dug so many tunnels under their camp the Germans could have financed the war by opening up a theme park.

08/27/2001 - 22:03
The Hangover10

Essentially an epic extension of the comedic penis' penetration into the mainstream

06/08/2009 - 22:03
The Hours0

"The Hours" is all about lesbians and anybody who knows anything about movies knows that the main reason you put lesbians in a movie is very simple: hot lesbian sex.

01/24/2003 - 20:46
The Hulk0

"The Hulk" is not just crap -- it's green crap, and if that's not a bad sign, I don't know what is.

06/20/2003 - 21:07
The Incredibles 0

you'll find that the only action is in the middle of audience, in the middle of the burgeoning kiddie riot.

11/05/2004 - 21:22
The Killers2

This Ernest Hemingway story has been remade several times. What people don't understand is this: If the story was any good, it would never have been remade because it would have been right the first time.

09/01/1997 - 21:37
The King's Speech6

Let's face it – Hollywood is running out of ideas when it comes to casting male leads in roles where they overcome some form of disability in order to win an Oscar.

01/09/2011 - 12:19
The Lady and the Tramp0

Eventually, I got bored with the DVD and spent the rest of the evening licking my own genitals and crapping in the neighbor's yard.

09/02/1998 - 01:47
The Limey0

Presently, you begin to wonder whether the concessionaire accidentally slipped you a heaping cup of Robitussin over crushed ice instead of Pepsi.

08/04/1999 - 15:51
The Little Mermaid3

This film is perverted.

09/03/2000 - 02:51
The Maltese Falcon0

This film is no more than candy for a slow mind.

09/04/1997 - 20:44
The Matrix4

Did the Wachowski brothers really sit down and decide to spend a hundred million dollars making their dream sci-fi film, then proceed to hire a guy with all the acting range of a carp?

03/31/1999 - 21:29
The Matrix Reloaded 0

So after turning self-consciously intellectual, this is what the newly reclusive Wachowski brothers bring us? Andy (the smart one) and Larry (the slow one) serve up a second-rate humanistic philosophy that will have you wondering whether Gandhi's secret dream might have been to dance around in slow motion and pump bullets into everything that moved.

05/15/2003 - 21:30