One Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

MovieCommentssort iconBlurbCreated
The Nutty Professor 0

Personally, if I had wanted to give Eddie Murphy a good reason to scream and act idiotic for a couple of hours I would have given him a glass of Liquid Plummer and a straw.

06/28/1996 - 16:58
The People vs. Larry Flynt 0

"The People vs. Larry Flynt" isn't only a film about poor taste, but a reflection of our own.

12/25/1996 - 19:48
The Princess Bride 0

In real life, that slut Buttercup would not only have married Prince Humperdinck and spawned his children, but probably would have been doing Andre the Giant on the side.

09/13/1999 - 16:54
The Shawshank Redemption 4

Isn't it always the upper-class white guys who are falsely convicted?

09/10/1995 - 21:48
The Silence of the Lambs 0

What cop in his right mind actually steps inside Lecter's cage? Idiots. Come feeding time, I stand about fifty feet from his cage and spray baby food to him with a fire hose. The hell if he's cutting my face off.

09/10/1995 - 21:19
The Sweet Hearafter0

Basically, what Egoyan's film indicates in the end is that complex issues cannot be addressed in cinema unless ridiculous, pathetic melodrama is involved.

11/21/1997 - 21:57
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre 0

Why is it that a movie's audience members can often see trouble brewing a mile away that the characters can't see until it comes up and gives them a faintly suggestive jackhammer enema?

01/07/1980 - 00:55
The Truman Show0

"The Truman Show" ejaculates its Hollywood wet dream right onto our laps: a flawlessly run, thirty-year, top-rated television show.

06/05/1998 - 20:33
The Usual Suspects0

"The Usual Suspects" makes the NY Times Crossword Puzzle look like "Wheel of Fortune."

08/16/1995 - 18:55
The Wizard of Oz0

Dorothy is obviously tripping her ass off on insecticides.

08/25/1970 - 23:09
Time Out0

Leave it to the French to make a movie about a man named Vincent who spends an entire film pretending to have a job in much the same way the French pretend to have a spine.

10/03/2003 - 01:48
Touching the Void0

Now, when there's something out there that nobody has ever done before, there's usually a reason. For instance, nobody has ever climbed up the side of the Empire State Building wearing underpants brimming with scorpions.

12/12/2003 - 01:21
Toy Story0

The maldistribution of wealth caused by "Toy Story" can only lead to further class dissatisfaction and an eventual revolution.

11/22/1995 - 01:19
True Grit1

There's a reason no one makes westerns anymore, and "True Grit" provides us with an exceptionally crystal clear reminder.

02/23/2011 - 09:55
Tsotsi0

Directors and writers always like to find that one really bad guy who is redeemed by babies and lambs and puppies.

12/23/2005 - 20:28
Unbreakable0

Is there anybody in real life who talks like they do in an M. Night Shyamalan film?

11/22/2000 - 01:59
Unforigiven0

I don't know what riding around on a horse when you're eighty years old does to your prostate, but it can't be good. Ultimately, this turns out to be the lesson of the movie.

08/07/1992 - 19:32
Unstoppable2

Why do I keep capitalizing UNSTOPPABLE? Because it is the MOUNTAIN DEW of train movies. It is EXTREME. In UNSTOPPABLE there are HELICOPTERS flying inches away from SPEEDING LOCOMOTIVES – ALL THE TIME!

11/21/2010 - 17:30
Up in the Air10

The basic premise of “Up in the Air” is that a person needs a family, at least some kind of permanence, in order to be truly happy. This is, of course, a giant, heaping pile of shit.

01/05/2010 - 21:32
West Side Story1

Upon seeing a ten-minute long opening sequence featuring thin, effeminate men dancing around in extraordinarily tight pants, the audience begins to realize it's in for much more.

12/23/1970 - 23:25