One Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
| Movie | Comments | Blurb | Created |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Nutty Professor | 0 | Personally, if I had wanted to give Eddie Murphy a good reason to scream and act idiotic for a couple of hours I would have given him a glass of Liquid Plummer and a straw. | 06/28/1996 - 16:58 |
| The People vs. Larry Flynt | 0 | "The People vs. Larry Flynt" isn't only a film about poor taste, but a reflection of our own. | 12/25/1996 - 19:48 |
| The Princess Bride | 0 | In real life, that slut Buttercup would not only have married Prince Humperdinck and spawned his children, but probably would have been doing Andre the Giant on the side. | 09/13/1999 - 16:54 |
| The Shawshank Redemption | 4 | Isn't it always the upper-class white guys who are falsely convicted? | 09/10/1995 - 21:48 |
| The Silence of the Lambs | 0 | What cop in his right mind actually steps inside Lecter's cage? Idiots. Come feeding time, I stand about fifty feet from his cage and spray baby food to him with a fire hose. The hell if he's cutting my face off. | 09/10/1995 - 21:19 |
| The Sweet Hearafter | 0 | Basically, what Egoyan's film indicates in the end is that complex issues cannot be addressed in cinema unless ridiculous, pathetic melodrama is involved. | 11/21/1997 - 21:57 |
| The Treasure of the Sierra Madre | 0 | Why is it that a movie's audience members can often see trouble brewing a mile away that the characters can't see until it comes up and gives them a faintly suggestive jackhammer enema? | 01/07/1980 - 00:55 |
| The Truman Show | 0 | "The Truman Show" ejaculates its Hollywood wet dream right onto our laps: a flawlessly run, thirty-year, top-rated television show. | 06/05/1998 - 20:33 |
| The Usual Suspects | 0 | "The Usual Suspects" makes the NY Times Crossword Puzzle look like "Wheel of Fortune." | 08/16/1995 - 18:55 |
| The Wizard of Oz | 0 | Dorothy is obviously tripping her ass off on insecticides. | 08/25/1970 - 23:09 |
| Time Out | 0 | Leave it to the French to make a movie about a man named Vincent who spends an entire film pretending to have a job in much the same way the French pretend to have a spine. | 10/03/2003 - 01:48 |
| Touching the Void | 0 | Now, when there's something out there that nobody has ever done before, there's usually a reason. For instance, nobody has ever climbed up the side of the Empire State Building wearing underpants brimming with scorpions. | 12/12/2003 - 01:21 |
| Toy Story | 0 | The maldistribution of wealth caused by "Toy Story" can only lead to further class dissatisfaction and an eventual revolution. | 11/22/1995 - 01:19 |
| True Grit | 1 | There's a reason no one makes westerns anymore, and "True Grit" provides us with an exceptionally crystal clear reminder. | 02/23/2011 - 09:55 |
| Tsotsi | 0 | Directors and writers always like to find that one really bad guy who is redeemed by babies and lambs and puppies. | 12/23/2005 - 20:28 |
| Unbreakable | 0 | Is there anybody in real life who talks like they do in an M. Night Shyamalan film? | 11/22/2000 - 01:59 |
| Unforigiven | 0 | I don't know what riding around on a horse when you're eighty years old does to your prostate, but it can't be good. Ultimately, this turns out to be the lesson of the movie. | 08/07/1992 - 19:32 |
| Unstoppable | 2 | Why do I keep capitalizing UNSTOPPABLE? Because it is the MOUNTAIN DEW of train movies. It is EXTREME. In UNSTOPPABLE there are HELICOPTERS flying inches away from SPEEDING LOCOMOTIVES – ALL THE TIME! | 11/21/2010 - 17:30 |
| Up in the Air | 10 | The basic premise of “Up in the Air” is that a person needs a family, at least some kind of permanence, in order to be truly happy. This is, of course, a giant, heaping pile of shit. | 01/05/2010 - 21:32 |
| West Side Story | 1 | Upon seeing a ten-minute long opening sequence featuring thin, effeminate men dancing around in extraordinarily tight pants, the audience begins to realize it's in for much more. | 12/23/1970 - 23:25 |