Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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01/10/2006 - 20:47
Family Man0

Imagine that, a baby whose poop doesn't smell good! Oh, the hijinks!

12/22/2000 - 20:48
Fantasia 20000

Nothing illuminates the stories of the Bible quite like a talking duck.

12/31/1999 - 21:02
Far From Heaven0

Heaven should consider it a blessing to have some distance from this movie.

11/22/2002 - 13:22
Father's Day0

Hollywood executives didn't want to alienate people who feel that biology gives them the right to destroy families years after they've abandoned their children to pursue a life spent chasing cash, tail and crack.

05/09/1997 - 14:01

The story is so overdone that anyone with a brain bigger than a golf ball will be able to predict not only everything that happens, but also the precise sequence of all the shots.

04/12/1996 - 14:03
Felicia's Journey 0

Frankly, I suspect that Egoyan has met some hot babe and is trying to get laid by exposing his feminist side.

11/24/1999 - 14:12
Femme Fatale0

It's no secret that a Brian DePalma film is to cinema what a George Bush speech is to oratory.

11/06/2002 - 14:14
Fever Pitch0

Most people aren't even aware that this is a Farrelly brothers movie. This is because "Stuck on You" sucked so bad that the Farrelly name turned from an asset into a liability and studio executives will now only admit the brothers' association with a film when questioned directly under oath.

04/08/2005 - 14:15
Fierce Creatures 0

Apparently, some test screenings were done in which the entire theater was pumped full of marijuana smoke.

01/24/1997 - 14:17
Final Destination0

Director James Wong basically expands the "who's in the closet" gimmick to the "what object is going to come out of nowhere and splatter that teenager's face all over the place" gimmick.

03/17/2000 - 14:23
Final Destination 20

One of director David Ellis's credits prior to this sequel was another sequel, "Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco," a movie that was the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of talking animal films.

01/31/2003 - 14:24
Finding Forrester 0

I figure you can get away with that sugar-coated crap once, but to do it twice and feel proud suggests that Gus Van Sant has read one too many of Oprah's book club selections.

12/19/2000 - 14:37

Silver Seashell Award my ass.

09/04/1998 - 14:44

Instead of doing a normal bank robbery, Bill Cox (Paul Bettany) kidnaps Jack Stanfield's (Harrison Ford) family and forces Stanfield to transfer twenty million into some account somewhere, presumably to pay off the referees in Super Bowl XL.

02/10/2006 - 14:47
First Descent0

In the end, we learn that snowboarding's fun for everyone, except, it would seem, black people. Seriously, if you do go see this film, play "spot the black snowboarder." There is one. But he's hard to find. Like Waldo.

12/02/2005 - 14:51
Flags of Our Fathers 0

The great story hidden in this mess is about how veterans are haunted by their experiences. This movie misses that boat. Instead, it's like some mediocre after-school special.

10/20/2006 - 14:57

Joel Schumacher seems to live to mutilate other people's ideas.

11/24/1999 - 14:58

I'm all for female equality, but with the releases of airplane thrillers "Red Eye" and "Flightplan" so close together, I'm starting to think that there's some kind of conspiracy to castrate both the male hero and the male villain and elevate the cerebral, anorexic woman to some kind of mythic status.

09/23/2005 - 15:51

What better way to spend your afternoon than watching a movie with five hundred crying, distracted kiddies between the ages of three months and ten years old?

05/17/1996 - 15:54