Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
A humble suggestion to filmmakers: If you're going to cast Elisabeth Shue in the role of the brilliant scientist, please also allow her to fire molten gold from her nipples and fart bubbles which each bear a tiny etching of a Toulouse-Lautrec painting, because it'll allow my brain to get over the hump of that whole "scientist" idea.
|08/04/2000 - 20:15|
Most savvy filmgoers are aware that when an actor gains weight and shows his ass on screen, something fishy is going on.
|09/08/2006 - 20:22|
A simple,old-fashioned love symphony between two simpletons that has all the rhythm of an infant banging on a metal pot with a plastic rattle.
|11/25/1998 - 20:27|
Director Bill Duke takes care to leave no stone unplagiarized.
|08/27/1997 - 20:33|
All I seem to remember is that shit floats, which actually would have been a more appropriate title.
|05/29/1998 - 20:35|
A series of events more contrived than a White House press conference.
|03/11/2005 - 20:39|
|Hot Tub Time Machine||3|
If you love movies where men shout profanity at each other on an almost continuous basis, while occasionally being forced into either fellatio or stripping off all of their clothes in the presence of other men, then you will probably want to watch this twice.
|04/12/2010 - 14:45|
If you like movies about genocide, you're in for a treat.
|02/04/2005 - 20:45|
|House of Mirth||0|
Excuse me for not shedding tears when some upper class failure has to get a job.
|10/27/2000 - 20:54|
|House of Sand and Fog||2|
About all it's lacking to send folks into convulsions is Santa Claus clubbing baby seals to death with Oprah's severed head.
|12/26/2003 - 20:55|
|House of Yes||0|
The problem with this whole concept is that there's nothing cinematic about it. Another minor setback: There's no story.
|10/10/1997 - 20:57|
|House on Haunted Hill||0|
I don't know who accepts an invitation that states, "Come spend a night in a house. If you're not dead in the morning, you'll get a million dollars."
|10/29/1999 - 20:58|
|How the Grinch Stole Christmas||0|
Basically, little Cindy Lou-Who is just a patsy for the Church.
|11/17/2000 - 21:01|
|How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days||0|
Hey, it's the "two people who are trying not to fall in love fall in love anyway" plot, again.
|02/07/2003 - 21:03|
|Howl's Moving Castle||2|
"Howl's Moving Castle" feels like Miyazaki's "Doogal" to me.
|11/20/2004 - 21:06|
|Hustle & Flow||0|
I don't have the slightest idea what I was supposed to get out of this film. Was it that a pimp can dream?
|07/22/2005 - 21:17|
|I Dreamed of Africa||0||05/05/2000 - 02:34|
|I Heart Huckabees||0|
After Sartre created existentialism, some people said that he was a real downer and that his philosophy was no fun, but director David O. Russell has made existentialism the feel-good philosophy of 2004 and proven all those poo-pooers completely wrong. Existentialism is loads of fun!
|10/22/2004 - 02:40|
|I Love You, Man||0|
If the protagonist doesn’t actually buy into the premise of the film, then how the hell is the audience supposed to come along for the ride?
|04/23/2009 - 13:39|
|I'm Not Rappaport||0|
Though "I'm Not Rappaport" may in fact have a point, you'll be hard-pressed to figure out what it is.
|12/24/1996 - 20:30|