Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
|The Importance of Being Earnest||0|
The British make me sick. They make two kinds of films.
|07/04/2002 - 20:33|
If you're a dumbass, do you take a chance on an original screenplay or do you play CYA and pull a script out of the vault that's already been done with some success so you can blame the inevitable failure on the director and actors?
|05/23/2003 - 20:44|
|The Incredible Mr. Limpet||0|
This film is sick.
|08/30/2000 - 21:20|
Bay's sins are all ones of excess. He's like a lab animal who has access to an orgasm button.
|07/22/2005 - 22:10|
In the original movie, the Jackal was at least smart.
|11/14/1997 - 06:03|
"The Juror" has a host of surprises. Unfortunately, they're all comical.
|02/02/1996 - 20:08|
|The King and I||0|
Let's just say the animation quality is maybe a step above epileptics with crayons.
|09/01/1995 - 21:45|
|The Lake House||0|
Time travel movies are inevitably full of big holes and "The Lake House" is certainly no exception. The first flaw is that Keanu Reeves is in it.
|06/16/2006 - 01:52|
|The Last Castle||0|
This is Hollywood liberalism at its worst -- so paper thin that every political point is like watching a 10-foot tall stuffed Uncle Sam waving an American flag.
|10/19/2001 - 14:00|
|The Last Days of Disco||0|
Most directors wouldn't dare make a movie based on such flimsy subject matter. (Director Whit) Stillman, meanwhile, has found a way to make three.
|05/29/1998 - 14:10|
|The Last Samurai||0|
When Cruise's final words are expelled from this 148-minute slug, it's like being released from jail.
|12/05/2003 - 14:25|
|The Legend of Bagger Vance||0|
You only get to call something a sport when there's a real possibility of someone bleeding at the end.
|11/03/2000 - 15:12|
Seriously, is there a law somewhere that says that Malkovich has to be in every single film about sexual deviance?
|03/10/2006 - 15:31|
|The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou||0|
Writer/director Wes Anderson is teetering on the precipice between humorous and interesting on one side and bizarre and meaningless on the other.
|12/25/2004 - 15:38|
|The Lizzie McGuire Movie||0|
Why does every sweet and wholesome female child star have a rack like a bronzed trophy case at a Miracle Gro melon contest?
|05/02/2003 - 02:59|
|The Long Kiss Goodnight||0|
After marrying Geena Davis, director Renny Harlin has been trying unsuccessfully to make sure her career doesn't go straight down the toilet.
|10/11/1996 - 20:34|
|The Longest Yard||0|
Sadly, this is what passes for genius in Hollywood these days.
|05/27/2005 - 20:36|
|The Love Bug||0|
There is a great discovery to be had by watching this 1969 movie: It's the original inspiration for "The Matrix."
|09/03/2001 - 21:10|
|The Love Letter||0|
Making a moronic little movie with virtually no story arc is cake when you're married to one of the most powerful men in Hollywood.
|05/21/1999 - 21:14|
|The Mask of Zorro||0|
Every time something significant happens in the movie that does not take place during the course of an action scene, some asshole strums a guitar.
|07/17/1998 - 21:13|