Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

Moviesort iconCommentsBlurbCreated
To Die For0

It's certainly everybody's impression from the movies that, when it comes to small towns, inbred is more than just a cool thing to make sandwiches with.

10/06/1995 - 01:41
To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday 0

Morons are supposed to believe that Gillian is some kind of ghost while the rest of us are thinking that David ought to pursue a career examining ink spots in a padded room.

10/18/1996 - 01:39
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything0

Patrick, Wesley and John turn out to be the three wise men transvestites as they tour the country bringing the message of baby Jesus to little bassackwards towns.

09/08/1995 - 01:34
Tokyo Story0

Overall, this is an extremely long movie to make the simple point that kids grow apart from their parents.

03/13/1970 - 01:37

If you want to believe this film is good because some NY film critic with a pole up his ass says it's good, so be it. It seems to me, however, that director Mike Leigh was just trying to kiss some Academy ass.

01/14/1999 - 01:26

If I had to guess from the film's pacing, I'd say Paul Schrader is some kind of recovering speed freak who's trying to rebalance his psyche. "Touch" plods along like snot sliding down a service ramp.

02/14/1997 - 01:36
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen6

Remember how cool Jar-Jar Binks was, and how the only thing cooler than Jar-Jar would have been two Jar-Jars? Well, Bay got that message loud and clear.

07/04/2009 - 22:37

I never got the sense that the Jennings were trapped. Me, on the other hand, now that's a different story.

09/20/2002 - 00:59

This is a region of the country in which the Kasparov/Deep Blue chess match is completely overshadowed by Jethro's repeated attempts to beat a chicken at Scrabble.

04/18/1997 - 00:57
Tristan & Isolde0

Director Kevin Reynolds tries to bring a certain levity to the project. However, his idea of levity involves three things: overwrought music, James Franco staring into the middle of nowhere, and the kind of cinematography that makes one wish the director would get to the point.

01/13/2006 - 20:43

The movie has the same sort of pace as bingo in an old folks' home. People keep saying the same things to each other over and over again, and it seems as though time has stopped.

08/18/2000 - 23:28
Tropic Thunder5

That makes “Tropic Thunder” a nice case of the pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think?

09/16/2008 - 18:48
True Crime0

There are only two ways a movie like this can end.

03/19/1999 - 20:36
Tuck Everlasting0

I thought this was the title of a porn film at first. When I found out it starred William Hurt and Sissy Spacek, I started to feel a little ill.

10/11/2002 - 20:26

When you're an idiot, every damn thing on the earth appears wise beyond its years.

03/03/1999 - 20:25

"Turbulence" is a lot like "Passenger 57" -- on Prozac.

01/10/1997 - 20:23

How old is Paul Newman, like 90? For God's sake, he shouldn't be acting. He shouldn't even be breathing.

03/06/1998 - 20:20

If you ever wondered what "Dawson’s Creek" would have been like if half the cast had been replaced by an assortment of Euro-trash vampires, then Twilight is definitely the film for you.

11/29/2008 - 00:44

Here's a tip about movies like these: Once you've eliminated the most likely suspect, cut right to the least likely and you've usually two-stepped your way right to the edge of the filmmaker's creative limits.

02/27/2004 - 20:15

A list of all the idiotic clichés and B-movie dialogue moments in director Jan ("Speed") De Bont's special effects movie would be too long to deal with, but let's try anyway.

05/10/1996 - 20:12