Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

Moviesort iconCommentsBlurbCreated
Drowning Mona0

Watching people drive around in Yugos gets old when it becomes a substitute for humor.

03/03/2000 - 19:40

If you've ever been involved in an orchestra or band, you know that drummers are considered the losers of the entire organization. They're even bigger wussies than the tuba players. All they do is bang a stick up and down.

12/13/2002 - 19:42

I wasn't sure if Gwyneth was acting or selling Girl Scout cookies.

11/24/2000 - 19:45

Let's face it: People who drink their own urine bond fast.

08/22/1997 - 19:50

Keep out of "Duplex."

09/26/2003 - 19:53
Dysfunktional Family 0

Griffin's unapologetic meanness drags this film into the gutter where Griffin would live, were there any justice in the world.

04/04/2003 - 19:55
Eagle Eye5

The only way you would be shocked is if you haven't seen a movie since 1976.

09/27/2008 - 23:38

Well, guess what, boys: "Edtv" is a lot like "The Truman Show."

03/26/1999 - 02:25
Eight Below0

Hollywood and cold go together like Hollywood and morals.

02/17/2006 - 02:28

WARNING: This film contains scenes of Matthew Broderick simulating sex.

05/07/1999 - 21:31

Suffer through the smug tale of requited love between upper-class snots.

08/02/1996 - 23:19
Employee of the Month 0

As one might expect as Simpson polishes her acting "skills," there are these long, disturbing shots of her furrowing her brow and attempting to make faces to accompany different emotions, mostly confusion.

10/06/2006 - 23:33
Event Horizon 0

I'm not precisely sure at what point director Paul Anderson decided it was time to take a big, long piss on me, but I'm sure it coincided with his revelation that he no longer had a clue about what he was doing.

08/15/1997 - 19:46
Everything Is Illuminated 0

Is this a movie that's ostensibly about the Holocaust or a remake of "K-9"?

09/15/2005 - 19:59

Banderas' whole Mickey Mouse singing routine makes you want to rip off his head and strangle the little midget inside of him operating the controls.

01/10/1997 - 20:04
Excess Baggage0

So what does it feel like to be rewritten by Alicia Silverstone?

08/29/1997 - 20:10
Extreme Measures 0

It's really something of a miracle that (Hugh) Grant has managed to find co-stars who aren't inflatable.

09/27/1996 - 20:34
Failure to Launch0

We're supposed to believe that Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw had sex and had a child that grew up to be Matthew McConaughey. I don't see it. Intercourse between Bates and Bradshaw would be far more likely to produce offspring that looked like Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from "The Muppet Show."

03/10/2006 - 20:38
Fair Game0

Director Andrew Sipes does a fine job of pretending to make an action movie.

11/03/1995 - 20:40
Fairy Tale: A True Story 0

If there's anything worse than watching an English twit trying to get to the point of something, it's watching a four-year-old American child watching an English twit trying to get to the point of something.

10/24/1997 - 20:42