Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
|Fools Rush In||0|
I think it says something about Matthew Perry's viability as a romantic lead when groups of quadriplegic cub scouts sit around arguing about which one of them could kick his ass faster.
|02/14/1997 - 16:04|
|For Love of the Game||3|
This is because the game is slower than Monica Lewinsky on Celebrity Jeopardy.
|09/17/1999 - 16:10|
|05/19/1995 - 16:07|
Quite often, a film I'm watching will be undone by only a couple of scenes which send it spiraling into the flushing vortex of forgettable, incompetent and utterly offensive filmmaking.
|08/12/2005 - 16:18|
If the return of the adult/child body-switching movie isn't a sign of the Apocalypse, what is exactly?
|08/06/2003 - 16:22|
It's about as subtle as being shot in the face by the Vice President.
|02/17/2006 - 16:37|
By even seeing this movie, you are a puppet for the atheists.
|04/28/2000 - 16:38|
This film should have been called "Disco Dracula."
|08/26/1998 - 16:43|
|From Dusk Till Dawn||0|
Together, Tarantino and Clooney shoot almost every other person in the film.
|01/19/1996 - 16:49|
Memo to Steven: Nobody cares. You're all just basically whores.
|09/20/2002 - 16:51|
|Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus||0|
Shed your brain and you might enjoy "Fur."
|10/20/2006 - 16:57|
An hour or two of C-SPAN would have been preferable to this contravesty.
|08/27/1997 - 19:20|
There's nothing new about "Garden State," and films consisting of pretty much the same message have been produced over and over again like failed sitcoms since the popularization of independent cinema.
|09/22/2004 - 23:59|
Have you ever heard of a thing called "plot"?
|10/06/2000 - 01:32|
|Get on the Bus||0|
It's "Speed" without the speed.
|10/16/1996 - 01:34|
|Get Over It||0|
Apparently any writer who's even considering a teen film these days is rifling the pockets of Shakespeare's corpse for a plot.
|03/09/2001 - 01:37|
|Ghosts of Girlfriends Past||4|
Unsurprisingly, “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” doesn’t deviate from the standard McConaughey playbook.
|05/30/2009 - 18:03|
|Ghosts of Mississippi||0|
Directors must love this genre, because they need only plop the story into the "legal thriller" template like a big old turd. Splat! There you go: movie.
|12/20/1996 - 19:09|
|Girl With a Pearl Earring||0|
Anyone associated with this movie ever hear of Rembrandt? Michelangelo? Picasso? For Christ's sake, Vermeer isn't even on the list of "Top 100 Painters I'd Watch a Movie About."
|01/09/2004 - 20:26|
Are you done imagining? Good. You can wash the honey and fire ants off your scrotum now.
|01/14/2000 - 20:24|