Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

MovieCommentssort iconBlurbCreated
Girls Town0

Watching a group of actors and actresses pretend to be real, miserable people is just a shade more enjoyable than being attacked by wasps.

08/21/1996 - 20:29
Glory Road0

The basketball scenes in "Glory Road" feel more like jazzed up deodorant commercials than climactic hoop.

01/13/2006 - 20:35

This so-called "technique" is supposed to make "Go" somehow unique, yet all it does is take violence and humor and smash them together like a toddler trying to make a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich.

04/09/1999 - 20:37
Gods and Generals 21

In an apparent nod to historical accuracy, "Gods and Generals" is nearly as long as the Civil War itself.

02/21/2003 - 20:40

This is less a horror film than a so-called "thriller" and the director, Nick Hamm, takes about as many risks as a teenager wearing a life jacket in a kiddie pool.

04/30/2004 - 20:43

If you've seen it once you've seen it a thousand times.James beds beautiful women. James gets cool gadgets from Q. James tries to prevent evil villains from taking over the world.

11/17/1995 - 21:24

I expected powerful Tony Soprano-type gangsters. Instead I got a nervous cast of destitute nancy-boys from Oliver Twist.

02/25/2009 - 14:34
Gone in 60 Seconds 8

Producer Jerry Bruckheimer makes a certain kind of film: a film for stupid people whose cinematic tastes can be summed up with the phrase "louder is better."

06/09/2000 - 21:30
Goodbye Lover0

Roland Joffé cruises around his cinematic canvas like a four-year-old on Nyquil driving his first bumper car.

04/16/1999 - 21:44
Gosford Park 0

The only thing this movie made we want to know was why the servants of Britain didn't revolt a long time ago and slice the throat of every aristocrat within sniffing distance.

01/04/2002 - 21:48

Here's a lesson in crappy scriptwriting and directing for those of you looking to make lots of money being a hack.

04/21/2000 - 21:50

Apparently, there's some kind of desperate need for English teachers in purgatory because these ghosts, despite being able to open locked cell doors and possess people to perform murderous deeds, cannot get out a coherent sentence in order to clearly divulge their important messages.

11/21/2003 - 21:51

If you ever wondered what sunk John Travolta in the 1980s, all you have to do is watch "Grease" to find out.

08/27/2000 - 22:01
Great Expectations 0

One would think Paltrow's nude body on the silver screen would get the Crankster jumping for joy, but all I could think was "Girl, grab a snack."

01/30/1998 - 22:04
Grosse Pointe Blank 0

Since there's so very little at the heart of this film, lots of tangential characters are dumped into the mix like pickle juice in a bad cake recipe.

04/11/1997 - 22:10
Guinevere 0

(Note to self: stop by Wolf Camera on way home from work.)

11/12/1999 - 22:15
Gun Shy0

The idea of Sandra Bullock's character, Judy, giving Liam Neeson an enema probably seemed funny at first. Unfortunately, you witness it on the screen and it's like watching somebody's pet get run over.

02/04/2000 - 22:16

France is the only country that dedicates commemorative postage stamps to adultery.

06/21/2000 - 03:12

It's Todd (Solondz's) responsibility as a representative of the socially disenfranchised to make sure regular people never get a handle on his genius because if they did, he'd be intellectually disenfranchised and quickly back to square one.

10/16/1998 - 03:14
Happy Endings0

I saw this movie right after seeing "Me and You and Everyone We Know" and there's a certain shared vision of America that, frankly, makes me a little bit ill.

08/05/2005 - 03:16