Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

MovieCommentssort iconBlurbCreated
American Pie 20

Did any of these people make a single new friend in college?

08/10/2001 - 20:34
American Psycho0

Here's the greater message of "American Psycho": Trick endings are for feebs.

04/14/2000 - 20:36

Maybe Steven Spielberg's next "important" film can be about kickingdogs or beating baby seals.

12/10/1997 - 20:49
Angel Eyes0

Don't be fooled by the false advertising. This is not a thriller.

05/18/2001 - 21:16
Anna and the King0

A proper English woman, Anna Leonowens, goes to Siam in the mid-nineteenth century and changes the course of Siamese history because King Mongkut has never tasted English pie.

12/17/1999 - 21:37
Anna Karenina0

Nobody makes even the slightest attempt to use a Russian accent,which gives "Anna Karenina" all the cultural charm of a Japanese tourist trying to order a Whopper in a Moscow Burger King.

04/04/1997 - 21:39
Anywhere But Here0

This is a nothing story that's mostly focused on the various stages of hissy fits that women tend to have.

11/12/1999 - 03:28
Apt Pupil0

"Apt Pupil" looks like it should have taken three months to make, not three full years.

10/23/1998 - 03:49
Around the World in 80 Days0

This is a film that tries to distract the viewer from its lack of a clear protagonist and slight racism with a litany of cameos so that the audience can blurt out every ten minutes or so, "Hey look, it's John Cleese!"

06/16/2004 - 03:55
Art School Confidential0

It would have been nice if "Art School Confidential" had been kept strictly confidential.

11/10/2006 - 03:59

Fearing that a story or a plot might confuse some people, Donner drops us in on an action scene that looks like it was lifted from the middle of a different Sylvester Stallone flick.

10/06/1995 - 14:53
Assault on Precinct 130

There's definitely an assault in this film. Whether it's on the screen or on the audience is up for debate.

01/19/2005 - 14:54
Austin Powers in Goldmember0

In an era when successful movies are not mere films so much as franchises, it becomes a valuable skill to tell when a franchise has "jumped the shark" and started that quick dive from fame to futility. For me, that point for the Austin Powers franchise was about five minutes into this movie.

07/26/2002 - 15:21
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery0

If "Austin Powers" is the best Meyers could do after four years of brainstorming, maybe next time he should take a forty-year hiatus -- on a desert island.

05/02/1997 - 15:23
Baby Boy0

Writer/Director/Producer John Singleton has been living in a swank mansion in Bel Aire with a pool, hot tub, five-car garage and a Peruvian housekeeper -- just what exactly does he know about life in the 'hood anymore?

06/29/2001 - 21:07
Barton Fink0

One cannot help but wonder whether this movie was Joel and Ethan Coen's idea of a practical joke.

08/15/2001 - 21:31
Basic Instinct0

I like to think of this film as the prequel to "Showgirls."

08/15/2000 - 21:36

This pathetic bit of casting has led to a series of increasingly feminine Batmans; first Keaton, then Val Kilmer and then George Clooney. Who's next? RuPaul?

08/15/2000 - 21:45
Batman Forever0

Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face is the worst use of an Academy Award winning actor since Cher made her last fitness video.

06/16/1995 - 21:49

Inside every British person is a loud fart just waiting to get out.

11/07/1997 - 07:31