Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

MovieCommentssort iconBlurbCreated
The Ides of March2

"The Ides of March" is sort of like the "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones" of the boring dudes in suits genre. You get a trailer that makes you think it's all going to be light saber battles and spaceships but in the end it's a bunch of guys sitting in a room talking about the most tedious aspects of government policy.

10/22/2011 - 09:00
The Importance of Being Earnest 0

The British make me sick. They make two kinds of films.

07/04/2002 - 20:33
The In-Laws0

If you're a dumbass, do you take a chance on an original screenplay or do you play CYA and pull a script out of the vault that's already been done with some success so you can blame the inevitable failure on the director and actors?

05/23/2003 - 20:44
The Incredible Mr. Limpet 0

This film is sick.

08/30/2000 - 21:20
The Island0

Bay's sins are all ones of excess. He's like a lab animal who has access to an orgasm button.

07/22/2005 - 22:10
The Jackal0

In the original movie, the Jackal was at least smart.

11/14/1997 - 06:03
The Juror0

"The Juror" has a host of surprises. Unfortunately, they're all comical.

02/02/1996 - 20:08
The King and I0

Let's just say the animation quality is maybe a step above epileptics with crayons.

09/01/1995 - 21:45
The Lake House0

Time travel movies are inevitably full of big holes and "The Lake House" is certainly no exception. The first flaw is that Keanu Reeves is in it.

06/16/2006 - 01:52
The Last Castle0

This is Hollywood liberalism at its worst -- so paper thin that every political point is like watching a 10-foot tall stuffed Uncle Sam waving an American flag.

10/19/2001 - 14:00
The Last Days of Disco 0

Most directors wouldn't dare make a movie based on such flimsy subject matter. (Director Whit) Stillman, meanwhile, has found a way to make three.

05/29/1998 - 14:10
The Last Samurai 0

When Cruise's final words are expelled from this 148-minute slug, it's like being released from jail.

12/05/2003 - 14:25
The Legend of Bagger Vance 0

You only get to call something a sport when there's a real possibility of someone bleeding at the end.

11/03/2000 - 15:12
The Libertine0

Seriously, is there a law somewhere that says that Malkovich has to be in every single film about sexual deviance?

03/10/2006 - 15:31
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou 0

Writer/director Wes Anderson is teetering on the precipice between humorous and interesting on one side and bizarre and meaningless on the other.

12/25/2004 - 15:38
The Lizzie McGuire Movie 0

Why does every sweet and wholesome female child star have a rack like a bronzed trophy case at a Miracle Gro melon contest?

05/02/2003 - 02:59
The Long Kiss Goodnight 0

After marrying Geena Davis, director Renny Harlin has been trying unsuccessfully to make sure her career doesn't go straight down the toilet.

10/11/1996 - 20:34
The Longest Yard0

Sadly, this is what passes for genius in Hollywood these days.

05/27/2005 - 20:36
The Love Bug0

There is a great discovery to be had by watching this 1969 movie: It's the original inspiration for "The Matrix."

09/03/2001 - 21:10
The Love Letter0

Making a moronic little movie with virtually no story arc is cake when you're married to one of the most powerful men in Hollywood.

05/21/1999 - 21:14