Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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The Tuxedo0

Jackie Chan and Jennifer Love Hewitt have all the sexual chemistry of Bert and Ernie.

09/27/2002 - 20:22
The U.S. vs. John Lennon0

This was quite the crowd pleaser among the artsy-fartsy, left-wing audience with whom I saw the film. They loved it because it pandered to already held beliefs rather than challenge those beliefs and that's precisely what's wrong with it.

12/06/2006 - 18:56
The Underneath0

This film is so focused you begin to wonder if there are any other people in the town, or even on Earth.

04/28/1995 - 19:42
The Uninvited2

So, in a nutshell: “The Uninvited” – pretentious shit.

05/01/2009 - 16:09
The Watcher0

It's Bill & Ted's Excellent Killing Spree!

09/08/2000 - 23:48
The Way of the Gun0

Who the hell does McQuarrie think he's conning? Go tickle somebody else's ass hairs, pal.

09/08/2000 - 23:41
The Weather Man0

This film is actually filmed in Chicago, and to be perfectly honest, I just love Chicago so much that a movie could be about beating kittens to death and I'd still love it if the Chicago scenery were good because I'd sit in the theater and point and grin and think to myself "ooh, I've been there."

10/28/2005 - 23:37
The Wedding Date0

I sure felt like making a date after this dreck -- with an overdose of Vicodin.

02/04/2005 - 03:33
The Wedding Planner0

Are women really so pathetic that getting married is all they think about?

01/26/2001 - 23:31
The Wedding Singer0

Sandler obviously wanted to make this character a little more sensitive than the usual dolts he's been typecast as epitomizing. However,this ambitious breakout performance is hindered by one small detail: Sandler doesn't know the difference between acting and drooling.

02/13/1998 - 23:30
The White Sheik0

It's kind of like watching a baby eat: Stuff just goes everywhere.

04/25/1995 - 20:38
The Whole Wide World0

Until 1985, Novalyne Price had not told of her 1934 love affair with "Conan the Barbarian" writer Robert E. Howard. Director Dan Ireland wants you to think this encounter was simply too profound to easily unearth. After seeing this film, one concludes it's more likely she just forgot.

11/20/1996 - 02:44
The Wings of the Dove0

Merton is so desperate to get in Kate's pants that he's blinded by her material needs and narrow personality. The irony of the thing is that by the time Kate is riding him like a London trolley car, Merton isn't interested anymore.

11/07/1997 - 02:16
The Winslow Boy0

Ultimately, the film demonstrates that Mamet without profanity is like pornography without nudity.

05/26/1999 - 23:20
The Yards0

Tell me if you've heard this one before.

04/27/2000 - 22:40
The Zero Effect0

Although Hollywood's decision makers may not know talent when they see it, they stick to nepotism like flies to shit.

01/30/1998 - 02:04
Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead1

The thought of gangsters like Jimmy the Saint and the Man with the Plan tooling around the Mile High City makes me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

12/01/1995 - 02:45
Three to Tango0

To me, that glassblowing apparatus looks like it would make one hell of a crack pipe, which might explain why Neve is just a tad too bubbly.

10/22/1999 - 02:53
Tin Cup0

Given that (Director Ron) Shelton has all but exhausted his well-worn copy of "10 Trite Sports Film Endings," he opts for what would seem to be both the least conventional and the most stupid conclusion.

08/16/1996 - 01:45
Titan A.E.0

I don't care how sophisticated Don Bluth gets with his animation. When I see it, I think Dragon's Lair.

06/16/2000 - 01:44