Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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Since this film comes to us via Jim Henson Productions there's no need to worry about the fact that living with apes is like living in a cesspool, since Muppets don't belch or swallow or crap.

06/06/1997 - 23:20
Buffalo Soldiers0

Perhaps in another time, "Buffalo Soldiers" would have been political commentary for a new age. Right now, it's just the kind of thing you want to slip into your DVD collection with the spine facing the wall.

10/31/2002 - 23:22

As the cinematographer for Spike Lee, director Ernest Dickerson garnered some respect in the filmmaking community. But now, like a dog let off his leash, he's running around Hollywood dropping turds.

09/09/1996 - 23:27

Yes, Warren Beatty raps in "Bulworth"; the effect is an entire audience writhing in agony.

05/15/1998 - 23:31
Cadillac Records10

This movie is so entirely unsubstantiated and so incredibly useless that it might as well be shelved next to "Josie and the Pussycats" for all its historical relevance.

12/15/2008 - 16:42
Calendar Girls0

It seems to me that if you live in a small town in Ireland or England or Wales or Scotland, you're old or fat or ugly, and you've done something in the past decade that involves taking your clothes off, you've got unbelievably high odds of getting your story turned into a small, pointless, Hollywood feel-good movie of the month.

09/12/2003 - 16:54
Captain Corelli's Mandolin 0

A mandolin is like a small, retarded guitar, and everyone knows what they say about men with small guitars.

08/17/2001 - 17:05
Career Girls0

Leigh's film plays like a druggie's tall tale, ending, for allintents and purposes, with the predictable "well, I guess you just had to be there."

08/08/1997 - 17:08

This just goes to show that anything dealing with sexuality automatically gets an "R" from the prudish MPAA while the average film character can take an Uzi, slaughter an entire African or Arab village, and easily walk out with a "PG-13."

12/25/2005 - 17:21

If I had wanted to see "Goodfellas" again I would have rented it.

11/22/1995 - 17:25
Cecil B. Demented 0

Either this is Waters' attempt to parody himself, or he has nothing left to say.

08/02/2000 - 19:30

Coincidences and logic flaws begin to pile up on each other like naked frat boys in a Skull and Bones initiation ceremony.

09/10/2004 - 21:11
Center Stage0

What the hell is it with the dancing?

05/12/2000 - 21:14
Central Station0

This film's version of death is the emotional equivalent of the director slipping some cinematic roofies into your four-dollar Coca-Cola.

11/20/1998 - 21:16
Charlie's Angels0

This whole movie plays like nothing more than an elaborate music video.

11/03/2000 - 21:32
Chicken Little0

Watching "Chicken Little" is like watching the desperation ooze out of Disney like the pus out of slug being slowly crushed between the fingers of a cruel child.

11/04/2005 - 21:58
Children of the Revolution 0

The point of the film seems to have something to do with the stupidity of unquestioning loyalty to ideology. Why this has to be burnt into our retinas by the sight of Judy Davis rambling on about the proletariat is anybody's guess.

04/30/1997 - 22:09

Holy crap, Lasse, that lesson belongs right up there with "Why it's bad to murder" and "Don't punish children by putting them in an oven."

01/05/2001 - 22:15
Christmas in Connecticut0

I liked this movie so much that when I sat down to write this review, I
couldn't remember the title.

12/24/2008 - 19:56
Cimes of Passion0

Tireless viewers will find more overt sexual symbolisms in "Crimesof Passion" than at a "Baywatch" convention.

08/21/2001 - 20:52