Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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City of Angels0

This movie . . . couldn't be more thematically obvious if its charactersjumped off the screen and poured saccharin in our popcorn.

04/10/1998 - 22:37
City of Industry0

Harvey Keitel and Al Pacino seem to be running some sort of race to see who can play the most low-life hoodlums before their careers devolve into pathetic grandfather roles.

05/14/1997 - 22:38

The funniest thing about this film on video is that it's now available as a special director's edition.

08/21/1998 - 19:28
Clerks 20

Let's face it: When it's twelve years later and you're doing the same thing artistically that you were doing twelve years ago, something isn't working.

07/21/2006 - 19:29

Most of the jokes in "Click" are akin to overripe fruit that's been lying on the ground awhile: easy to get, not particularly crisp, and, on occasion, halfway rotten and full of maggots.

06/23/2006 - 19:30

If I was really pining for that canned, forced dialogue one only gets while watching a play, I'd head down to the local dinner theater or find a raving homeless man with a Jesus complex and pay him $8 to tell me the meaning of life.

12/03/2004 - 19:36
Club Dread0

What Broken Lizard was shooting for here isn't exactly clear because "Club Dread" is a strange amalgamation of a horror film and a comedy film, yet it's not like "Scream" in the sense that it's a parody of a horror film. In fact, it doesn't have the slightest clue what it wants to be.

02/27/2004 - 19:37
Cold Mountain0

Ah yes, it's the holiday season, when families go traveling, neighbors go caroling and Hollywood goes Oscar-whoring.

12/25/2003 - 19:44

I really must applaud director Christian Charles's effort to make me give a shit that billionaire Seinfeld is back on the stand-up comedy road and is, oh my gosh, nervous about it.

07/21/2003 - 19:47
Con Air0

As with any Bruckheimer film, the point of the story is to make alot of loud noises.

06/06/1997 - 19:51
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind 0

This is Clooney's directing debut. Apparently, George's goal as a director is to cast all his friends in supporting roles and just assume that audiences won't spend so much time playing "spot George Clooney's friend" that they completely lose track of the meager plot.

01/24/2003 - 19:51

Even though this film sucks, you have to admire the reasoning of director James Foley in hiring Edward Burns, who's about as well-cast as Kermit the Frog in "Hamlet."

04/25/2003 - 19:54

When the disease that’s wiping out mankind has more of a personality – and a back story – than a crying Matt Damon or his uncomfortably immune daughter, then your script has a problem.

09/21/2011 - 01:45
Cop Land0

Trying to reclaim his right to even be called an "actor,"Sylvester Stallone has done virtually everything that the "Acting for Dummies" book would probably suggest.

08/15/1997 - 20:23
Corky Romano0

When's the Rachel Dratch film?

10/12/2001 - 20:25
Cousin Bette0

Obviously, the key words Hollywood needs to hear when these periodpieces come up are "naked courtesans."

06/12/1998 - 20:33

Don't they have homes for the talentless offspring of Hollywood's elite -- a place where they can go so that their limited vision isn't inflicted upon the world?

01/29/2003 - 20:37
Cradle 2 the Grave 0

This movie has Tom Arnold in it.

02/28/2003 - 20:38
Cradle Will Rock0

Is he saying that we can thank socialist causes for the rampant capitalism we have today?

04/12/2000 - 20:40
Crazy in Alabama 0

This is sort of like doing a story about drunk clowns set in Auschwitz.

10/22/1999 - 20:50