Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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13 Going on 300

This is a movie is based on an idea that Hollywood loves: the idea that if you make one bad decision, it can change your whole life.

04/23/2004 - 20:11
15 Minutes0

Ultimately, the movie is like being kicked in the ass a whole bunch of times by a guy who's yelling the same thing at you over and over again.

03/09/2001 - 20:12
16 Blocks0

Apparently, Bruce refuses no opportunity to play a cop and filmmakers hedging their bets are eager to dial 1-800-TYPECAST to make it happen.

03/03/2006 - 20:13
2 Fast 2 Furious 0

If movies were cars, "2 Fast 2 Furious" would be a Yugo.

06/06/2003 - 19:58
200 Cigarettes 5

It's one of those films that makes you wonder whether the filmmakers are trying to be cryptically profound, or whether they've simply been lobotomized.

02/26/1999 - 20:29
25th Hour0

I've heard of cinematic masturbation, but in "25th Hour" Spike's finally hit the right mix of ambition and flexibility to do nothing less than cinematically blow himself.

01/10/2003 - 20:15
28 Days Later0

This film does nothing to distinguish itself from the parade of lame horror films that have come out over the last several years.

06/27/2003 - 20:18
40 Days and 40 Nights 0

Personally, I would have retitled this movie "Put a Boot Up Matt's Spoiled, Picky Ass."

03/01/2002 - 20:19
50 First Dates 0

How can somebody make a film as hideously awful as "Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle" and ever be allowed to work again?

02/13/2004 - 20:22

The main character's bout with cancer throughout "50/50" was nothing compared to the mental anguish I was forced to deal with as the 'plot' of this misguided medical morass unfolded before me.

11/27/2011 - 22:03

Essentially, this film is "Boogie Nights" minus the big penis.

08/28/1998 - 20:23
8 Heads in a Duffel Bag 0

The mere presence of George Hamilton and Dyan Cannon is proofthat director Tom Schulman has a commitment to black comedy like Elizabeth Taylor has a commitment to marriage.

04/18/1997 - 20:01
A Beautiful Mind 0

This movie is a complete farce and should not even be connected to John Forbes Nash, Jr.

01/04/2002 - 07:36
A Day Without a Mexican 0

It appears as though director Sergio Arau told everyone to pretend they were in an "SNL" skit.

08/06/2004 - 14:29
A Knight's Tale0

One has to figure that writer/producer/director Brian Helgeland actually smoked the research material instead of reading it.

05/11/2001 - 22:14
A Lot Like Love 0

Like most mediocre Hollywood fare, "A Lot Like Love" doesn't even care that its outcome is assured and the audience has little reason to stay in the theater more than five minutes.

04/22/2005 - 21:05
A Man Apart0

Drugs in Southern California? No way!

04/04/2003 - 20:46
A Map of the World 0

What is Sigourney, 52? Did we really need to be looking at her breasts?

01/21/2000 - 21:05
A Midsummer Night's Dream 0

To make things worse, this film does theactor du jour thing by featuring Calista Flockhart, that star of "Ally McBeal" who claims not to have an eating disorder despite the fact that if she stands too close to the curb people park their cars in front of her and stick quarters in her mouth.

05/14/1999 - 05:48
A Perfect Murder0

There's about as much suspense in this film as in a model-barfing contest. Nothing interesting comes up.

06/05/1998 - 19:50