Three Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
|Two if by Sea||0|
Have no doubt -- when you finish watching this movie you'll be soaked in Denis Leary's ego.
|01/12/1996 - 02:12|
Along comes Melanie Griffith and her silicon implants to prove that being a bimbo, Academy Award nomination or no, is forever.
|03/15/1995 - 02:11|
There's zero character development in this film, and everything else is stolen from "Das Boot."
|04/21/2000 - 02:08|
Am I supposed to like Sam Gerard? I presume that I am, since that's usually a necessity for a main character in a feature film. Unfortunately, the guy is a wound-up imbecile.
|03/06/1998 - 18:58|
|Under the Skin||0|
Just about anything is better than getting peed on. Generally speaking, while getting peed on, one is likely to spend one's time under the stream considering that one's previous problems probably weren't so bad after all.
|05/22/1997 - 17:56|
Watching "Undertaking Betty" is probably the next best thing to actually being dead.
|12/04/2002 - 19:41|
This whole "hot chicks in skimpy or skin-tight outfits beating the crap out of things" genre is getting kind of old. Whether it's Lara Croft or Aeon Flux or Alice from "Resident Evil," it all seems the same.
|01/20/2006 - 19:38|
|Up at the Villa||0|
If we had as many rabid dogs in America as they do loveless marriages in Europe, we would have to evacuate the country.
|05/05/2000 - 19:25|
For reference purposes, Daniel is other wise known as the fat Baldwin, distinguishing him from Stephen, the ugly Baldwin, William, the no-talent Baldwin, and Alec, the lucky-ass Baldwin screwing Kim Basinger.
|10/30/1998 - 04:36|
Here's my suggestion for the next endeavor: "National Lampoon's Straight to Video"
|04/05/2002 - 04:33|
This movie is a good half hour too long because (director Cameron) Crowe spends all his time farting around, trying to impress himself by confusing the crap out of everybody else.
|12/14/2001 - 04:30|
When you enter a theater knowing full well you're in for two hours of numbing scatology, moronic repetition and Chevy Chase -- all wrapped into one -- you feel elated and lucky to simply leave the building alive.
|02/14/1997 - 04:29|
"Vengo" is only 90 minutes long, which is about its only good point.
|10/04/2000 - 04:27|
|Very Bad Things||0|
Very bad things happen. Unfortunately, they happen to very bad people, and thus the audience could care less.
|11/25/1998 - 04:21|
|View from the Top||0|
Girls, the key to happiness is to be a complete and utter doormat.
|03/21/2003 - 04:15|
|Wag the Dog||0|
"Wag the Dog" is nothing more than a gutless adaptation of somebody else's risky idea. Typical Hollywood.
|01/09/1997 - 04:06|
Ryan Reynolds is like the love child of David Spade and Kathleen Turner. He doesn't really act so much as he just stands there and tries to bring new meaning to the word "cool," but in a self-indulgent, self-aware way that conveys both a sense of conceit and a sense of nonchalance. In other words, he's excruciatingly annoying.
|10/07/2005 - 04:04|
|Waiting for Guffman||0|
It seems to me that to poke fun at bad acting, one must first claim some knowledge of good acting. Does Guest really know the difference or was "The Big Picture"somebody else's fault?
|01/31/1996 - 04:03|
While somebody unfamiliar with director Richard Linklater might think this plot of not having a plot to be original... it is simply consistent with Linklater's inability to put together a film with a plot.
|03/07/2001 - 04:01|
|Warm Water Under a Red Bridge||0|
This is a film from director Shohei Imamura, who's apparently famous in Japan, though I'm not convinced he's famous for filmmaking.
|11/03/2001 - 23:53|