Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

Moviesort iconCommentsBlurbCreated
Inventing the Abbotts 0

Doug and Pam run around looking at each other with those "I really want to screw you now but if I do it'll cut the film short" eyes.

04/04/1997 - 21:56
Iron Man9

"Iron Man" is just another in a long line of "wink wink nudge nudge" superhero films that's poised for a series of sequels that will undoubtedly obliterate any notion of originality this first film might have had.

09/30/2008 - 17:54
Iron Monkey0

Don't touch this monkey.

08/30/2001 - 22:04
It's a Wonderful Life 1

How bad is the world without George Bailey in it? The real answer is this: not that bad.

08/30/1998 - 22:21
Italian for Beginners0

"Italian for Beginners" basically turns into an episode of "Love Boat."

12/08/2000 - 22:17
Jack and Sarah0

A two-hour course in how to change a diaper interspersed with lots of close-ups of an infant spitting up milk. That's entertainment.

03/22/1996 - 06:01
James and the Giant Peach 0

(Author) Roald Dahl had repeatedly turned down offers from studios and filmmakers to translate his work into film since its publication in 1961. Fortunately for Disney, Dahl croaked in 1990.

04/12/1996 - 16:33
Jane Eyre0

If Elle McPherson is a mansion, then on the homely scale Charlotte Bronte's heroine is a couple of rooms short of a bungalow.

04/12/1996 - 16:34
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back 0

This is Kevin Smith's fifth film in his so-called Jersey trilogy, which just goes to show what kind of cinematic disaster can ensue when guys who can't count are allowed to make movies.

08/24/2001 - 16:40
Jerry Maguire 0

Writer/director Cameron Crowe has taken care to methodically abuse every romantic film cliché on earth.

12/13/1996 - 16:44
Jersey Girl0

After Bennifer's last team effort crashed and burned more spectacularly than if Pauly Shore had piloted the Hindenburg into Enron headquarters, one wonders what inspired Miramax and Kevin Smith to go ahead and launch the Hindenburg 2.

03/26/2004 - 16:46
Jimmy Neutron 0

"Jimmy Neutron" is "Inspector Gadget" for especially slow kids.

12/21/2001 - 19:18
Judge Dredd0

If Stallone's the biggest guy in this world of lawlessness, that means that some futuristic catastrophe must have shrunk everybody else to less than five feet tall.

06/30/1995 - 19:52
Julie & Julia20

Attention Hollywood: there are two things you should never make a movie about. Blogging. And Cooking.

09/07/2009 - 15:08
Jumanji 0

The computer-generated animals seem interesting until the monkeys emerge. They all look suspiciously like Regis Philbin.

12/15/1995 - 19:56
Junebug0

Watching this film is not unlike having teeth pulled.

02/22/2006 - 19:59
Jungle 2 Jungle0

"Jungle 2 Jungle" is proof that for every French filmmaker with a bad idea, there's an American filmmaker with a bigger budget willing to see that idea to its spectacularly disastrous end.

03/07/1997 - 20:01
Keeping the Faith0

Do we need any more movies featuring Ben Stiller sleeping with anybody? Do I have to say this over and over again? You couldn't compel more people to run for the bathrooms if you served bad fish.

04/14/2000 - 20:32
Kicking and Screaming0

Is anyone else sick of this Generation X style of filmmaking?

10/06/1995 - 21:25
Kids0

Kids like these don't just drop out of the sky, because if they did, we would deploy Reagan's vaunted Star Wars Defense Initiative and blow them up in the atmosphere.

07/28/1995 - 21:31