Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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Is anybody else sick of Robin Williams? I mean, it's getting to the point where I hear the guy's voice and I want to chew one of my arms off.

03/11/2005 - 20:35
Romeo + Juliet 2

Avoid this film because every spoken line is going to be followed by a chorus of "Huh?", "Whut?" and "Whaditty Say?" from an audience of confused, frustrated and increasingly violent teenagers.

11/01/1996 - 20:45
Rosewood 0

For those of us who are not idiots, we have to sit through two-and-a-half hours of director John ("Boyz n the Hood") Singleton reminding us how bad it is that a group of white Floridians shot up the town of Rosewood in 1923 and murdered most of the black residents.

02/21/1997 - 20:57
Rough Magic 0

The film is utterly devoid of logic, prompting some mystified ad exec to use both "literal" and "spiritual" to describe it, thus covering all the bases as well as his own ass.

05/30/1997 - 20:58

In the filmmaking business that's what's called screwis repeatis, which is Latin for "my dick is longer than your attention span." It's a favorite Hollywood mantra.

09/11/1998 - 20:59
Run, Lola, Run 0

"Run, Cranky, Run."

06/18/1999 - 21:25
Running with Scissors 0

"Running with Scissors" had me running around crazy with joy!

10/27/2006 - 21:35
Rushmore 0

This coming-of-age story has about as much relevance to normal teenagers as vacuuming does to Bill Gates.

02/05/1999 - 21:38

Gangs battle police as the movie shoots its way through plot holes bigger than Mark Cuban's mouth.

08/08/2003 - 21:59
Saving Private Ryan 1

Maybe Spielberg could have hired people to come into the theater and drop actual concussion grenades -- it would have been about as subtle.

07/24/1998 - 22:57
Scanners 0

Nobody ever figures out that scanners are best shot in the back.

09/13/1995 - 22:48
Secretary 0

What follows is the most twisted mix of business and sex since Jack Welch bent the editor of the Harvard Business Review over his G.E. trophy case and showed her what an "in depth" interview was all about.

11/14/2002 - 01:34
Secrets and Lies 0

This film broke me.

10/25/1996 - 01:33
Serenity 0

God, if I have to hear anymore boo-hooing from all these whiny Joss Whedon fans bawling about how their beloved "Firefly" got canceled from television prematurely, I'm going to vomit. Look, your show got canceled because it sucked. Accept it. Move on.

09/30/2005 - 01:19
Shadow of the Vampire 0

I don't think those investors would have stepped up with, say, Corey Haim and Sean Astin in the lead roles.

01/26/2001 - 01:30
Shaft 0

Basically what Singleton is suggesting is that it's okay to shoot everyone in sight if you know you're right. The ending doesn't suggest it; it celebrates it.

06/16/2000 - 01:26
Shall We Dance 0

"Shall We Dance?" is more manipulative than a tobacco lobbyist at a lung cancer convention.

09/12/1997 - 01:21
Shaun of the Dead 1

This movie had been sitting around for two years with good reason, but along comes the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" and suddenly somebody somehow gets the message that what we now need is another zombie movie.

04/09/2004 - 21:50
She's the One 0

Convert to Judaism and sleep with his wife's adopted daughter, and (director Edward) Burns could easily be considered the next Woody Allen.

08/23/1996 - 21:40
Sideways 0

It's the "this guy is a bigger loser than me" 12-step program to life fulfillment. Just put a bigger loser than 99% of the audience on the screen and they will absolutely revel in the fact that they're not him.

01/21/2004 - 21:23