Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
|The Quiet American||0|
This film is virtually unwatchable if you don't know anything about Vietnam in 1952.
|02/07/2003 - 18:34|
|The Red Violin||0|
Director Francois Girard has no intention of challenging himself; he just wants to go home early and leave the rest up to the audience.
|06/11/1999 - 04:17|
It's been about seven days since I saw this piece of crap and I'm still not feeling so well.
|10/18/2002 - 20:17|
Tunnels underneath Alcatraz are one thing, but are we supposed to keep a straight face when Cage and Connery drop through the floor into mining cars?
|06/07/1996 - 20:38|
Elisabeth Shue as a physicist who perfects cold fusion? Have you ever heard her talk? This is someone who sounds like she could make an adventure out of opening the refrigerator.
|04/04/1997 - 23:02|
She also smelled like a flower shop that had been ransacked by incontinent dogs.
|07/13/2001 - 01:51|
|The Secret of Roan Inish||0|
I really don't care if they're cute and I really don't care if they look like puppies -- if a bunch of frickin' seals swim off with my only son I start shootin' me some seals.
|02/03/1994 - 01:36|
|The Shipping News||0|
Annie Proulx's novel, upon which the film is based, is yet more proof that modern literature has gone right down the toilet.
|01/11/2001 - 21:36|
It's a compelling lesson if you're in the second grade.
|11/06/1998 - 21:21|
|The Singing Detective||0|
I guess the lesson here is pretty simple: Don't let simpleton filmmakers read Freud.
|11/14/2003 - 21:01|
|The Squid and the Whale||0|
If ever there was a film demonstrating why parenting classes ought to be legally mandated for anyone having children, this is it.
|03/03/2006 - 01:28|
|The Station Agent||0|
This movie proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that not only are cell phones ruining Western Civilization, they are ruining movies along with it.
|12/05/2003 - 21:49|
|The Story of Us||0|
The first thought that came to my mind when Pfeiffer appeared onscreen was that she's starting to look a whole lot like Ally McBeal, and I don't mean that in a good way.
|10/15/1999 - 20:10|
|The Straight Story||0|
So Alvin gets on his lawnmower, leaving his "slow" daughter behind to tend to the house and the critters and the vittles and whatever else they have in Iowa.
|11/03/1999 - 20:09|
|The Street Fighter||0|
Since Quentin's name is on the movie's cover, you can bet that someone's going to be bleeding in an unusual way.
|08/01/1995 - 20:02|
|The Sum of All Fears||0|
While I'm tiring of Morgan Freeman in his usual role, I'm tiring of Ben Affleck in any role. Since he helped pilot "Pearl Harbor" into the drink, his career path has had a future appearance on "Celebrity Boxing" written all over it.
|05/31/2002 - 22:26|
|The Talented Mr. Ripley||0|
Mr. Ripley's main talent is being an imbecile.
|12/25/1999 - 02:52|
"The Terminal" seems like one of those cute character dramas until you start to string together the ridiculously elaborate set of coincidences that come together to give the whole thing that "feel good" quality.
|06/18/2004 - 02:32|
"It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity or fear." Good god, that sounds like Pat Buchanan. Or Kathie Lee.
|10/26/1984 - 02:31|
"The Thief," like all ponderous musings on Russian history, serves up shot after shot of metaphor until we're too addled to move.
|07/17/1997 - 02:52|