Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
Movie | Comments | Blurb | Created |
|---|---|---|---|
| Gone with the Wind | 0 | This film probably single-handedly set back Civil Rights a full ten years. | 08/27/2000 - 21:31 |
| Good Night, and Good Luck | 0 | This whole film is just a bunch of liberal whining if you ask me. | 10/14/2005 - 21:36 |
| Gran Torino | 10 | A twist in this movie is as involved as a four piece puzzle. Everything is exactly as it seems. | 01/09/2009 - 17:31 |
| Half Nelson | 0 | Hey look, the camera is shaking so this must be real life. Screw that. | 08/11/2006 - 02:37 |
| Halloween | 1 | Although she's pretty resolute for a girl being chased by a maniac, Laurie still makes all the same mistakes that drive audiences nuts. Let's list them quickly. | 08/28/1999 - 02:58 |
| Hamlet (1996) | 3 | Branagh wheels out the big Hollywood guns like he's hosting a marathon celebrity roast for the Big Bard himself. | 12/25/1996 - 03:04 |
| Hamlet (2000) | 3 | Why don't they just make a version of "Hamlet" with farm animals? | 07/12/2000 - 03:06 |
| Hannibal | 0 | "Who is that chick who isn't Jodie Foster?" Movie ruined. | 02/09/2001 - 03:11 |
| Hard Eight | 0 | Unlike real life, where questions and complications are rarely resolved in two hours, this film's secrets are readily revealed as though Vanna White were flipping the pages of the script. | 02/28/1997 - 16:15 |
| Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle | 0 | Here's what I hope the sequel will be titled: "Harold and Kumar Go to Jail." | 07/30/2004 - 16:25 |
| Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire | 0 | Given the anticipation of finally meeting Voldemort, one would expect the moment to be intense, powerful, and fulfilling, which is why I couldn't have been more disappointed when Harry, having been transported via port key during the Triwizard tournament, comes face-to-face with none other than... The English Patient. | 11/18/2005 - 16:30 |
| Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince | 10 | The periodic fight scenes are really nothing more than re-staged B-western gun battle scenes using sticks instead of six-shooters. | 08/21/2009 - 03:05 |
| Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban | 0 | Giving (director Alfonso) Cuarón creative control of the Harry Potter franchise is like giving David Fincher the reins to "Barney." | 06/04/2004 - 16:35 |
| Heavy | 0 | Not too long ago, Deborah Harry was putting out cigarettes on her breast in "Videodrome." Now she looks like the "before" shot in one of those Slimfast advertisements. | 06/05/1996 - 17:04 |
| Hedwig and the Angry Inch | 0 | I really thought Mitchell was going to pull a "crying game" at some point, and I spent most of my time in the theater desperately looking for somebody with an enormous cranium to hide behind in case that happened. | 07/27/2001 - 17:07 |
| Hercules | 0 | The couple behind me had a word for it: cute. I had a word for it too: brainwashing. | 06/27/1997 - 17:19 |
| High Fidelity | 0 | This film contains plenty of people we all know. They're called "losers." | 03/31/2000 - 19:53 |
| Hilary and Jackie | 0 | I just hate cello music. It makes a sound like a group of old people in a rest home when the help emerges from the kitchen with the "strained fruit of the day." | 01/15/1999 - 20:03 |
| Hiroshima Mon Amour | 0 | The back of the Criterion DVD case calls this Alain Renais film "a cornerstone of French cinema." If you ask me, the building must be crumbling. | 08/29/2000 - 20:05 |
| Holes | 0 | Not only are there a lot of holes in the film, but in the premise, the plot and the director's head as well. | 04/18/2003 - 20:09 |