Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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Basically, this is Disney's attempt to try something that doesn't involve a big-breasted little girl without a mother and lots of cute, song-singing animals to keep her company.

06/15/2001 - 15:08

PlayStation and Xbox geeks will probably cream their jeans at the thought of this futureworld. The rest of us get to enjoy a film with all the storytelling complexity of a preschool alphabet reader.

01/20/2001 - 15:29
Babe: Pig in the City2

What you don't see are the dozensof stunt piglets that were killed or maimed during the action sequences. The scene where Babe bails out of a flaming Air Force One must have burned through ten alone.

11/25/1998 - 21:06
Bad Santa9

The "look at Santa vomit and cuss" joke is funny the first 30 or 40 times, but by minute 45, the gag smells about as pleasant as a rotting fruitcake.

11/26/2003 - 21:20
Bad Teacher0

It probably helps if you're high too when checking out "Bad Teacher," as that might help you get through the film's excruciating lack of plot, combined with a cast of characters that might as well have been lifted directly from every single fucking movie about a school ever made, ever.

07/01/2011 - 08:26

If Lawrence Kasdan were black, this is the kind of film he'd make.

09/13/2002 - 21:29

Just once, I'd like to see a conspiracy film drum up a real conspiracy, one that doesn't lead to drugs, aliens or aliens on drugs.

03/28/2003 - 21:35
Batman Begins0

Was the cameraman being chased by a bear? That's how chaotic the action scenes are.

06/15/2005 - 21:46
Bed of Roses0

"Bed of Roses" is a combination love/horror story that boldly asserts that rich people deserve to be happy too.

01/26/1996 - 15:16

Personally, I think committing the crime of ripping off any Jean-Claude Van Damme movie should involve jail time.

08/25/2006 - 15:21
Before and After0

Truth good; cover up bad. In Hollywoodese this translates into: You stupid; story simple.

02/23/1996 - 15:23

Thank you for the rose colored glasses, the very gay senior citizen, and for reminding me that dogs can keep secrets, too.

07/20/2011 - 04:20

I briefly considered starting a heroin habit of my own just to get through Bertolucci's pointless exercise in pretentious impenetrability.

05/21/1999 - 15:31
Better Than Chocolate0

"Better Than Chocolate" also wins an award for most dildos in a movie.

07/08/1999 - 15:40
Beyond Borders0

Another great thing about this movie is the fact that whenever Angelina travels to one of these refugee sites, she's always wearing a fabulous hat.

10/24/2003 - 15:46
Big Trouble in Little China 0

Can you imagine Barry Diller -- the chairman of 20th Century Fox, for Christ's sake, and ostensibly a guy with years of experience in the film industry -- watching a cut of this film and missing the utterly obvious fact that is wasn't meant to be taken seriously?

08/18/2000 - 16:11
Black Swan9

Let me tell you the inescapable truth of a movie about ballet: it is as mind-blowingly dull as the real ballet.

01/09/2011 - 12:27
Blade 20

You'd swear Frank Oz is going to pop up from behind a curtain and pull his arm out of Kristofferson's withered rear end.

03/22/2002 - 16:40
Blade Runner0

Slick science fiction masterpiece, you say? How about Freudian nightmare?

08/18/2000 - 16:43
Blood and Wine0

A variety of things go wrong as a variety ofdysfunctional relationships undermines Alex's quest for happiness, independent wealth and uninterrupted sex with a woman a third of his age.

02/27/1997 - 19:33