Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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Kill Bill1

There certainly are some swift kicks in "Kill Bill," most of which hit the audience right between the eyes.

10/10/2003 - 21:33
King Kong0

As usual, the filmmakers swing and play with their computers, but when it comes to dialogue, they're throwing something stinky against that window.

12/14/2005 - 21:49
Kiss Me Guido 0

When Christianity needed a commercial facelift, along came Catholicism.

07/18/1997 - 21:58
Kissing Jessica Stein 0

If there's one thing certain about bisexuality, it's that there's a lot more of it going on in New York and Los Angeles, where feature films are made, then in rural America, where they think bisexual is a city term for a guy getting a hooker ("Buy sex you all?").

06/21/2002 - 22:11
Knife in the Water 0

If you've seen "Dead Calm", save yourself the trouble of watching this film, which is like "Dead Calm" except that nothing much happens until the last ten minutes.

09/01/2000 - 22:13
L.A. Confidential 0

Every film in the universe is set in Los Angeles or about Los Angeles or reflects a Los Angeles sensibility.

09/19/1997 - 01:38
Ladder 490

"Ladder 49" is a tribute to firefighters and in our post-9/11 world, the perfect commercial enterprise with which to exploit the tragedy.

10/01/2004 - 01:40
Land of the Dead0

Making one movie about flesh-eating undead only qualifies you to do one thing: make other movies about flesh-eating undead.

06/24/2005 - 01:55
Les Miserables 1

What most people would call a "lack of plumbing" the French refer to as "hospitality." Just ask the British.

05/01/1998 - 15:24
Les Voleurs0

If only the theater managers could have provided a fat, sweaty guy's armpit for me to bury my face in, the whole French savoir-faire experience could have been complete.

12/25/1996 - 04:07
Liar Liar0

Carrey sucks the meager soul of this film dry as easily as one might suck the filling out of a Twinkie.

03/21/1997 - 15:29
Life is Beautiful0

If life was beautiful during the Holocaust, then my moronic audience-mates were Nobel laureates, Roberto Benigni is a good filmmaker, and you can just start calling me Mr. Happy.

10/23/1998 - 15:42

There are many aspects of this film which merit a groan, a snort, or even hurling a drink at the screen

06/04/1999 - 15:49
Little Children0

Director Todd Field is a trained Hollywood actor and the odds of a Hollywood actor having a profound thought are pretty remote. I'm sure it happens, just not often, so if I were Field, I'd assume that whatever thought I was having probably isn't profound. I'd go with the odds.

11/03/2006 - 15:54
Living in Oblivion0

(DeCillo) fills the first forty-five minutes with a string of dream sequences that are a clear feint to keep the audience from knowing what the hell is going on.

07/21/1995 - 20:26
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels 2

Is Britain such a cultural wasteland that "Reservoir Dogs" has yet to be released on video cassette over there?

03/05/1999 - 20:29
Lost in Translation0

There's nothing quite like watching two affluent people lament their mutual affluence together.

10/03/2003 - 20:58
Love Actually0

If happiness is wanting to jump off the nearest bridge, Richard Curtis's movie made me the happiest man alive.

11/14/2003 - 21:06
Lucky Numbers0

I don't know if playing a moron is John Travolta's way of apologizing for "Battlefield: Earth."

10/27/2000 - 21:20

What would Don Corleone do to some guy who took his property and sold it, then attempted to convince him that it got stolen? The guy would wake up one day with his arms and legs in another state being used as pig feed.

10/18/2001 - 02:53