Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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Shakespeare's stuff has been so overdone that creating chaos is all there's left to do.

02/11/2002 - 01:42
Tomorrow Never Dies0

Oh, for the days of Pussy Galore.

12/19/1997 - 01:28
Toy Story 20

The kids see "Toys in a Toy Store." I see "Capitalism Enema."

11/24/1999 - 01:18

Why is this film worth making? Who didn't realize that history had already deemed the drug war a fiasco?

01/05/2000 - 01:17
Training Day0

I've said to several gang bangers, "Hey, I heard you talking and thought you were Ethan Hawke," and they've responded, "Yeah, man, I get that a lot."

10/05/2001 - 01:15

The story . . . inspired me to run out to my local dealer, shoot up some heroin, commit some robberies and have sex with young teenage girls, just like my new cinematic heroes.

07/19/1996 - 01:13

So gambling is an addiction. It's not like these people are crack babies or anything.

11/14/1984 - 20:48
Troy 0

Petersen uses the convenient "inspired by" credit instead of the more constraining "based upon" so that he can change enough of Homer's work to appeal to modern audiences while also deflecting the criticism of crazed Classics professors likely to run their own Trojan horse up to Wolfgang's front door during their summer break.

05/14/2004 - 20:37
True Romance0

Christian Slater is obviously Tarantino, sitting in that video store before he got famous, imagining what it would be like to be transformed from a loser into a movie star.

09/10/1993 - 20:34
Twin Falls Idaho0

"Twin Falls Idaho" moves about as fast as Elizabeth Shue taking the GRE.

03/29/1999 - 20:17
Ulee's Gold0

Ulee does the same thing with his personal life that he does with the bees: He remains calm. Thus, by extension, the audience stays calm. Real calm.

06/13/1997 - 02:04
Umberto D0

As far as I can tell, all of Umberto's friends seem to have enough money to get by. Why doesn't Umberto? Here's why: Umberto didn't save.

11/07/1970 - 02:00
Under the Tuscan Sun0

While real peoples' divorce recovery plans typically entail curling up on the kitchen in pools of their own urine for several days, Frances takes a trip to Tuscany, where she purchases an old house and begins that journey back toward the realization that life is beautiful.

09/26/2003 - 17:53
Undercover Brother0

Casting an SNL member is kind of like being the host of a party, only being too cheap to buy a keg of good beer and buying a vat of horse urine instead.

05/31/2002 - 19:43

If ripping off "The Matrix," stealing the color palette from the morgue, and scoring a film so loudly that ear plugs are handed out at the entrance constitutes style, director Len Wiseman earns big points.

09/19/2003 - 19:39

This is another in a long line of "let's suck the brain fluid out of the dead guy and experience his memories" films.

02/23/1996 - 19:34
United 930

There's simply no way to get around the fact that this film commercializes and exploits its subject.

04/28/2006 - 19:31

Unfortunately for this movie, I get sad when Jet Li doesn't kill people.

05/13/2005 - 19:28

Flying elephants are one thing, but let’s not be ridiculous.

06/16/2009 - 15:59
V for Vendetta3

V is for vain too.

03/17/2005 - 04:40