Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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If "slow" and "indescribably boring" are going to be the new definitions of the gangster film, (director Beat) Takeshi is well on his way to being an industry leader.

03/20/1998 - 14:48
First Strike0

Like many Chan movies, the most interesting thing about this one is watching guys nearly die in the outtakes at the end.

01/10/1997 - 14:54
Flight of the Phoenix 0

There's no rising from the ashes for this film.

12/17/2004 - 15:50
Flushed Away0

What a great image for the entire family to share: an entire city being washed away in crap.

11/03/2006 - 15:58
Fly Away Home0

Anyone older than eight years of age who wanders into this film should view the title as good advice.

09/13/1996 - 16:01
Forrest Gump1

Concentrate on this film and you'll quickly smell the rank odor accompanying the depoliticization of history.

08/26/1996 - 16:14

When a movie cheats like this to hide a surprise, it's a sign the director is more interested in springing a can of party snakes on the audience in the final two minutes than in the integrity of a story.

04/12/2002 - 16:20

Let's discuss the unibrow for a moment, shall we?

11/20/2002 - 16:39
Funny People0

When you name your movie “Funny People,” you better fucking back it up.

08/16/2009 - 21:43
Galaxy Quest0

What's most infuriating about this film is that somebody is forcing me to spend two hours following Tim Allen around. Allen is so full of himself he sprays his ego around like a male cat with a urinary tract infection.

12/25/1999 - 23:38
Gangs of New York 6

Here's the most important thing I learned from watching Martin Scorsese's historical drama about 19th century New York City: If you have good teeth, you've got it made.

12/20/2002 - 23:50
George of the Jungle 0

This Disney movie has crossed the line to the point where even Buddhists may want to consider boycotting it.

07/16/1997 - 01:28
Ghost in the Shell 0

This is a full-length animated feature from Japan that has all the technobabble of a Hewlett Packard calculator manual and is about as hard to follow.

03/29/1996 - 01:48
Ghost Town1

Director and writer David Koepp must either be lazy or think his audience is stupid. Probably both.

10/07/2008 - 12:59
Ghost World0

Not surprisingly, this film has been getting good reviews. It's not surprising because film critics are almost all big-time losers.

10/18/2001 - 01:54
Girl 60

As if we didn't already know that the film industry inventories women right along with "thumb tacks" and "toilet paper."

03/22/1996 - 20:13

Mr. Cranky will be discussing the ending of this movie.

11/23/2000 - 20:27

For some unknown reason, directors are equating style with the ability to shake the camera around so the audience can't see anything. Now this idiotic trend has grabbed Ridley Scott by the testicles.

05/05/2000 - 20:30
Goal! The Dream Begins 10

It shoots! It bores!

05/12/2006 - 20:38
Gods and Monsters 0

Fortunately, Boone is a simple lawn man with few lines whose only real challenge is that at some point he has to take off his shirt. This makes the role nearly perfect for Brendan Fraser.

11/04/1998 - 20:42