Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
It's like killing Santa Claus.
|01/06/2006 - 20:40|
|House of Wax||0|
Horror films just aren't what they used to be.
|05/06/2005 - 20:56|
|How Green Was My Valley||0|
The world was so much better back then. Kids were well-behaved. Everybody was nice to one another. New cars cost a nickel. Hurricanes never hit land. And if your intern didn't swallow, it wasn't considered sex.
|08/29/1999 - 21:00|
|I am Number Four||7|
I won't lie – if you are an adult who ends up watching "I Am Number Four" without being accompanied by at least one minor, you'll probably find a squad car parked behind your VW Minibus when you exit the theatre. I have a sneaking suspicion that these films are only produced as part of a larger campaign to smoke out pedophiles.
|03/03/2011 - 05:59|
|I Shot Andy Warhol||0|
Just who the hell was so stupid as to title the film with the movie's major event? Christ, that's like titling "Terms of Endearment" "Debra Winger Dies" or renaming "The Godfather" "Michael Becomes Boss."
|05/01/1996 - 02:47|
|I'm Not Scared||1|
There's really nothing meaner than a ten-year-old who finds another ten-year-old in a hole.
|03/14/2003 - 20:31|
"Ice Age" goes out of its way to imply that Native Americans are terrible parents by suggesting that a hairy elephant and a sloth would do a better job of taking care of the kid.
|03/15/2002 - 03:16|
|Ice Age: The Meltdown||0|
Frankly, I think when you have to resort to having Jay Leno voice a character in your animated movie, things have hit rock bottom.
|03/31/2006 - 02:55|
|In Good Company||0|
The best strategy for "In Good Company" would be to file for creative bankruptcy.
|01/14/2005 - 21:13|
|In Her Shoes||0|
This film's relationships start out like ships with so many holes in them that it would take nothing short of a miracle to stop the boat from sinking and killing everyone on board. By the end of the film though, all those holes are completely patched up, the hull looks brand new, and the owner is selling the thing for a huge capital gain and smiling all the way to the bank.
|10/07/2005 - 20:43|
|In the Bedroom||0|
Any person with a brain can see trouble coming in this film like a runaway eighteen-wheeler sporting neon vanity license plates that spell "TRUBL."
|01/11/2002 - 20:48|
|In the Company of Men||0|
This movie's premise, hailed by critics as "daring," is actually the path of least resistance.
|08/01/1997 - 20:37|
|In Too Deep||0|
...Now here's a man with an ego problem.
|08/25/1999 - 21:16|
What should we expect from the makers of "Stargate"? Finesse is not exactly their strong point. Sure, they're pretty good at blowing up stuff, but what four-year-old isn't?
|07/03/1996 - 21:26|
|Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade||0|
This third installment in the Indiana Jones saga confronts the logical tertiary cranium of that three-headed Hydra that is male sexuality: the Oedipal complex.
|08/30/1999 - 21:27|
If its theme were any more artificially sweet, this movie would be classified a carcinogen.
|10/04/1996 - 21:30|
It's like climbing on a scary-looking roller coaster and then having to sit there as it crawls along at three miles per hour.
|03/24/2006 - 21:33|
Now that (director Christopher) Nolan has made a name for himself, he's finding projects where all he has to do is turn the camera on and point it at the Oscar-winning actors.
|05/24/2002 - 21:38|
|Interview with the Vampire||0|
"Tom Cruise, Brad Pittand Antonio Banderas suck chicks."
|08/30/1997 - 21:45|
Nobody liked the carefree, nostalgic, childlike aura of "The Hudsucker Proxy." No one's going to like the same in "Intolerable Cruelty." The Coens have just repeated another failure.
|10/10/2003 - 21:54|