Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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If you grew up in the Eighties, then you’ve seen it all before firsthand, and honestly, who wants to revisit that shit-hole decade.

04/10/2009 - 13:54

Apparently, director Paul Schrader thinks we're all idiots. . . . Everyone knows that James Coburn has been dead since 1991.

01/15/1999 - 19:40
Akeelah and the Bee0

Hey, let's make another film about spelling bees because people just can't get enough spelling bees.

04/28/2006 - 06:04
Alias: The Complete Second Season0

This show is like a refugee camp for out-of-work "Felicity" actors.

08/14/2002 - 19:30
Almost Famous0

Audiences eat this kind of crap up.

09/13/2000 - 19:59
America's Sweethearts0

"Look, see, I'm exaggerating! Surely this isn't about anything real, such as your abominable behavior!"

07/20/2001 - 20:48
American Wedding0

Let me say this for the third film: At least it's not in 3-D.

08/01/2003 - 20:41
Amores Perros0

It's a brand of faux-confusion parading as intellect. It's cerebral only in that it's similar to experiencing a migraine.

06/16/2000 - 20:55
An Ideal Husband 0

Throughout the entire dull exercise, the characters exhibit that smug self-assuredness that makes every non-British person in the world want to travel to London and spray the Queen with a SuperSoaker full of urine.

06/18/1999 - 03:19
An Inconvenient Truth 3

The only thing worse than listening to Al Gore talk of impending doom is listening to Roseanne Barr sing the national anthem.

08/31/2006 - 21:19
Analyze This0

I've seen these characters so many times that the only funny thing about the whole endeavor is the number of people in the audience who couldn't have attached their wallets to vacuum hoses and had eight bucks sucked out of them faster.

03/05/1999 - 21:00

Everybody who sports a Russian accent is either evil, fat, or stupid.Apparently, that's what happens to you when you eat all that borsht and drink all that vodka.

11/21/1997 - 21:02
Angels and Insects0

Every metaphor in "Angels and Insects" comes screaming across the screen like a runaway fire engine.

01/26/1996 - 21:19
Anger Management0

...a character that's part Dr. Phil, part Booger from "Revenge of the Nerds."

04/11/2003 - 21:18
Antwone Fisher0

Just try, Dr. Davenport explains, and everything will be okay. Antwone tries, and everything is okay. Isn't that nice?

01/10/2003 - 21:46

Who exactly makes an animated film that features the voice of Woody Allen? That's deranged.

10/02/1998 - 21:48
Apocalypse Now0

It's worth looking back at this sophomoric Vietnam parable andrevealing Coppola's masterwork for what it really is: a self-indulgent piece of metaphorical garbage.

08/15/2006 - 03:38

Gibson begins his speculation about what may have brought the Mayans down: conceit, famine, slavery, unnecessary ritual sacrifice, and of course, the Jews.

12/08/2006 - 03:40

You know what? I'm not interested in the nature of filmmaking and neither is anybody else.

09/04/2002 - 03:51
Arlington Road0

"Arlington Road" is a film that understands suspense like Jesse Helms understands Hip Hop.

07/09/1999 - 03:53