Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews
Basically, this is Disney's attempt to try something that doesn't involve a big-breasted little girl without a mother and lots of cute, song-singing animals to keep her company.
|06/15/2001 - 15:08|
PlayStation and Xbox geeks will probably cream their jeans at the thought of this futureworld. The rest of us get to enjoy a film with all the storytelling complexity of a preschool alphabet reader.
|01/20/2001 - 15:29|
|Babe: Pig in the City||2|
What you don't see are the dozensof stunt piglets that were killed or maimed during the action sequences. The scene where Babe bails out of a flaming Air Force One must have burned through ten alone.
|11/25/1998 - 21:06|
The "look at Santa vomit and cuss" joke is funny the first 30 or 40 times, but by minute 45, the gag smells about as pleasant as a rotting fruitcake.
|11/26/2003 - 21:20|
It probably helps if you're high too when checking out "Bad Teacher," as that might help you get through the film's excruciating lack of plot, combined with a cast of characters that might as well have been lifted directly from every single fucking movie about a school ever made, ever.
|07/01/2011 - 08:26|
If Lawrence Kasdan were black, this is the kind of film he'd make.
|09/13/2002 - 21:29|
Just once, I'd like to see a conspiracy film drum up a real conspiracy, one that doesn't lead to drugs, aliens or aliens on drugs.
|03/28/2003 - 21:35|
Was the cameraman being chased by a bear? That's how chaotic the action scenes are.
|06/15/2005 - 21:46|
|Bed of Roses||0|
"Bed of Roses" is a combination love/horror story that boldly asserts that rich people deserve to be happy too.
|01/26/1996 - 15:16|
Personally, I think committing the crime of ripping off any Jean-Claude Van Damme movie should involve jail time.
|08/25/2006 - 15:21|
|Before and After||0|
Truth good; cover up bad. In Hollywoodese this translates into: You stupid; story simple.
|02/23/1996 - 15:23|
Thank you for the rose colored glasses, the very gay senior citizen, and for reminding me that dogs can keep secrets, too.
|07/20/2011 - 04:20|
I briefly considered starting a heroin habit of my own just to get through Bertolucci's pointless exercise in pretentious impenetrability.
|05/21/1999 - 15:31|
|Better Than Chocolate||0|
"Better Than Chocolate" also wins an award for most dildos in a movie.
|07/08/1999 - 15:40|
Another great thing about this movie is the fact that whenever Angelina travels to one of these refugee sites, she's always wearing a fabulous hat.
|10/24/2003 - 15:46|
|Big Trouble in Little China||0|
Can you imagine Barry Diller -- the chairman of 20th Century Fox, for Christ's sake, and ostensibly a guy with years of experience in the film industry -- watching a cut of this film and missing the utterly obvious fact that is wasn't meant to be taken seriously?
|08/18/2000 - 16:11|
Let me tell you the inescapable truth of a movie about ballet: it is as mind-blowingly dull as the real ballet.
|01/09/2011 - 12:27|
You'd swear Frank Oz is going to pop up from behind a curtain and pull his arm out of Kristofferson's withered rear end.
|03/22/2002 - 16:40|
Slick science fiction masterpiece, you say? How about Freudian nightmare?
|08/18/2000 - 16:43|
|Blood and Wine||0|
A variety of things go wrong as a variety ofdysfunctional relationships undermines Alex's quest for happiness, independent wealth and uninterrupted sex with a woman a third of his age.
|02/27/1997 - 19:33|