Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

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Director Mike Hodges seems to have spent plenty of time with the atmosphere of the casino and such -- things anybody could have gotten right -- and hardly any time thinking about whether the story made sense.

04/21/2000 - 21:02

There's some blithering about prime numbers and Cartesian coordinates, and I was pretty much lost and pissed off after that.

07/11/1998 - 21:11
Curse of the Jade Scorpion 0

Instead of concentrating on the set as a new platform for exposing his neurosis to anyone left in America who might care, Allen might have invested in making the story less predictable than Roger Ebert at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

08/24/2001 - 21:15

Friction between two men over a woman is some of the most clichéd bullshit you will ever see onscreen, and unless you can convince Steve Martin and Michael Caine to co-star your movie is going to suck. Throw in a disturbing incest angle and open with a scene of John C. Reilly masturbating and you’ve got a real winner on your hands.

07/11/2010 - 03:03
Dancer in the Dark0

This film is a condemnation of the American way of life, pure and simple.

10/06/2000 - 21:56
Dangerous Moves0

Unfortunately, it's chess.

08/21/2001 - 22:03
Dante's Peak0

Why are there always kids? Why is there always a petthat has to be saved? How come the support team always has to be ethnically and sexually balanced?

02/07/1997 - 22:04
Dawn of the Dead0

Ultimately, there's only so much that can happen in a zombie remake. If you know the story, there aren't any surprises. It's just more crap from a Hollywood creative machine turned almost completely off.

03/19/2004 - 14:23
Dead Poets Society0

This is why poetry teachers make really bad psychologists.

08/22/1999 - 14:34
Dead Presidents0

Under the mistaken impression that this was some sort of "action" movie in which the characters spend a significant amount of screen time shooting at people and driving cars in a reckless manner, I found myself nodding off while watching young Anthony grow up.

10/04/1995 - 14:36
Dear Frankie0

I wanted to puke.

03/16/2005 - 14:42
Deconstructing Harry 0

One can't help but notice Allen's consistently twisted view of women: The younger ones are goddesses, while the older ones -- the ones with the guile to work and vote -- tend to be manic bitches.

12/12/1997 - 14:46
Deep Blue Sea0

"Deep Blue Sea" reeks of a desperation that at this point can only be called "Harlinesque."

07/28/1999 - 14:47

Rodriguez pays a nice homage to Quentin Tarantino by allowing him to act in this movie and then shooting him in the face.

08/25/1995 - 15:13
Detroit Rock City 0

When your choices are between K.C. and the Sunshine Band, Le Freak, and KISS, it's not exactly like choosing KISS is the equivalent of making a social statement.

08/13/1999 - 15:35
Die Hard1

The penis is indeed king.

08/22/1997 - 16:22
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story 1

This film could well win the Oscar in the category of Most Projectiles to the Crotch in a Feature Film.

06/18/2004 - 16:29
Donnie Brasco0

In order to convince audiences that Johnny Depp really isn't a little furniture-throwing, reporter-abusing wuss, who has to date anorexic women so he looks like a man when he stands next to them, Newell has surrounded him with so many recognizable actors that "Donnie Brasco" looks like a gangster film retrospective.

02/28/1997 - 16:35
Down With Love0

Part tribute, part send-up of the romantic comedies of the early 1960s, "Down with Love" reminds us that as bad as movies are today, there was a time when they were actually worse.

05/16/2003 - 19:16
Dreamlife of Angels0

What the French think is good cinema is the kind of stuff Americans see at shopping malls every day.

09/09/1998 - 19:35