Two Bomb Mr. Cranky Movie Reviews

Moviesort iconCommentsBlurbCreated
Gone with the Wind0

This film probably single-handedly set back Civil Rights a full ten years.

08/27/2000 - 21:31
Good Night, and Good Luck 0

This whole film is just a bunch of liberal whining if you ask me.

10/14/2005 - 21:36
Gran Torino10

A twist in this movie is as involved as a four piece puzzle. Everything is exactly as it seems.

01/09/2009 - 17:31
Half Nelson 0

Hey look, the camera is shaking so this must be real life. Screw that.

08/11/2006 - 02:37

Although she's pretty resolute for a girl being chased by a maniac, Laurie still makes all the same mistakes that drive audiences nuts. Let's list them quickly.

08/28/1999 - 02:58
Hamlet (1996)3

Branagh wheels out the big Hollywood guns like he's hosting a marathon celebrity roast for the Big Bard himself.

12/25/1996 - 03:04
Hamlet (2000)3

Why don't they just make a version of "Hamlet" with farm animals?

07/12/2000 - 03:06

"Who is that chick who isn't Jodie Foster?" Movie ruined.

02/09/2001 - 03:11
Hard Eight0

Unlike real life, where questions and complications are rarely resolved in two hours, this film's secrets are readily revealed as though Vanna White were flipping the pages of the script.

02/28/1997 - 16:15
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle 0

Here's what I hope the sequel will be titled: "Harold and Kumar Go to Jail."

07/30/2004 - 16:25
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 0

Given the anticipation of finally meeting Voldemort, one would expect the moment to be intense, powerful, and fulfilling, which is why I couldn't have been more disappointed when Harry, having been transported via port key during the Triwizard tournament, comes face-to-face with none other than... The English Patient.

11/18/2005 - 16:30
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince10

The periodic fight scenes are really nothing more than re-staged B-western gun battle scenes using sticks instead of six-shooters.

08/21/2009 - 03:05
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 0

Giving (director Alfonso) Cuarón creative control of the Harry Potter franchise is like giving David Fincher the reins to "Barney."

06/04/2004 - 16:35

Not too long ago, Deborah Harry was putting out cigarettes on her breast in "Videodrome." Now she looks like the "before" shot in one of those Slimfast advertisements.

06/05/1996 - 17:04
Hedwig and the Angry Inch 0

I really thought Mitchell was going to pull a "crying game" at some point, and I spent most of my time in the theater desperately looking for somebody with an enormous cranium to hide behind in case that happened.

07/27/2001 - 17:07

The couple behind me had a word for it: cute. I had a word for it too: brainwashing.

06/27/1997 - 17:19
High Fidelity0

This film contains plenty of people we all know. They're called "losers."

03/31/2000 - 19:53
Hilary and Jackie 0

I just hate cello music. It makes a sound like a group of old people in a rest home when the help emerges from the kitchen with the "strained fruit of the day."

01/15/1999 - 20:03
Hiroshima Mon Amour 0

The back of the Criterion DVD case calls this Alain Renais film "a cornerstone of French cinema." If you ask me, the building must be crumbling.

08/29/2000 - 20:05

Not only are there a lot of holes in the film, but in the premise, the plot and the director's head as well.

04/18/2003 - 20:09