In keeping with my quest to bring you reviews from beyond the grave of Cranky Version 1.0, I give you this pile of crap.
Michael Bay hates you. And I can prove it. His disdain for humanity is so overpowering that at THREE SEPARATE TIMES during Transformers 2 somebody or something mentions that Megan Fox is attractive.
Who says you can’t go home? I do.
Spoiler: Star Trek sucks harder than the vacuum of space itself.
Here's an alternate version of the terrible review I am sure you missed the first time around at Proto-Cranky. Enjoy?
Here's a review. Not very cranky.
Cowards. They are the root and sum of all ridiculousness, and if I had my way they’d all be lined up and made to explain themselves in excruciati
They burn shit and dance around the flames. They wear goatskin pants and buffalo heads. They fart and worship stars and trees and dudes named Baal.
And I don't mean that in a Karl Hungus cable-repairman kind of way. I mean it's an Eight Men Out, Watergate, Jai Alai kind of fixed. As in- it is IN.