michael3b's blog

There Will Be Blood, once.

In keeping with my quest to bring you reviews from beyond the grave of Cranky Version 1.0, I give you this pile of crap.


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Transformers: The Fallen Can't Get it Up!

Michael Bay hates you. And I can prove it. His disdain for humanity is so overpowering that at THREE SEPARATE TIMES during Transformers 2 somebody or something mentions that Megan Fox is attractive.


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Drag Me to Hell

Who says you can’t go home? I do.


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My Star Trek Review

Spoiler: Star Trek sucks harder than the vacuum of space itself.


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Teeth

Here's an alternate version of the terrible review I am sure you missed the first time around at Proto-Cranky. Enjoy?


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NPR weekend shows suck

 


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Tokyo!

Here's a review.  Not very cranky.

 


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Make 'em Talk!

Cowards.  They are the root and sum of all ridiculousness, and if I had my way they’d all be lined up and made to explain themselves in excruciati


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The Pagans Nailed It

They burn shit and dance around the flames. They wear goatskin pants and buffalo heads.  They fart and worship stars and trees and dudes named Baal.


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It's All Fixed

And I don't mean that in a Karl Hungus cable-repairman kind of way.  I mean it's an Eight Men Out, Watergate, Jai Alai kind of fixed.  As in- it is IN.


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