Culture War

It seems that most of our politicians these days are no more than grandstanding media whores, who have about as much business being in positions of power as Paris Hilton does competing on Jeopardy.

I'm tired of people's children. Sick of them, in fact. It seems that no matter where I go, somebody's kid is screaming his or her head off and pissing me off.

Let's face it, most of you are complete suckers.

So apparently, SpongeBob SquarePants is gay. And should be banned. Then arrested. Then burned to a spongy crisp in the everlasting fires of Christian Hell.

I don't celebrate Christmas. I don't celebrate any holidays in December. None. Zero. Zip. As far as I'm concerned, Christmas is like a cancer. I'm not religious and I don't participate.

There's been a lot of vitriol hurled at both Democrats and Republicans this election, but I'd like to focus on one party that has, until this point, largely escaped some richly deserved criticism.

Some would say that Friday, October 8, 2004, was a banner day in the history of American justice, for that was the day that Martha Stewart reported to prison to serve a 5-month term for lying to the F

If there were a movie with this many miscues, I'd receive dozens of e-mails demanding I attend and suffer through the entire thing.

On Tuesday, September 28, President Bush made his third request for supplemental storm aid to help the victims of the hurricanes that have hit Florida and the surrounding states.

I have but one question for the Democratic National Committee and the John Kerry campaign: Where are your fucking balls?