Fuck you winter

Seriously.  We're done.  This is an abusive fucking relationship, and I don't have to put up with it.  Did you know it's summer on half the planet right now?  That's right.  I've got options.  I've got better options than you and I don't have to put up with you any longer.  You were kind of cool, at first, but then you weaseled your way into every facet of my life.  Then I learned what a frigid bitch you really were.  Storms, traffic, road closures, more storms, lost wages, lost power, lost heat, hell, because of you I haven't left my apartment in 5 days.  I ran out of food two days ago and have been drinking ever since.  I haven't talked to a living human in 4 days.   I haven't showered in 3 days and I can't masturbate any more because of the chafing.  I'm a broken shell of a human. You've wrecked my life and I want it back.  

No more warnings, winter.  We're through.  The first chance I get, I'm leaving for someplace where water exists as a liquid.  Fuck you.


6 Comments

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1

You should try a Canadian winter

FearlessFreep's picture

Wussy Americans!

 

Yeah, Canadian winters truly suck.

Mal_Content's picture

I planted flowers in my garden yesterday.  :D

Going where the sun keeps shining through the pouring rain

Rajah's picture

Going where the weather suits my clothes

Only a northerner would brag about freezing to death

The world has gone completely upside down.

RidingFool's picture

Meredith Baxter is Lebanese.

Celine Dion is returning to sin city.

Hugh Hefner got old a couple of decades ago.

It's snowing on the Florida panhandle.

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!

Hey Zur

HS's picture

It's 81 degrees here and I'm going hiking.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.  :)  Too bad about the chafing.  I recommend Neosporin.

 

HS

Are you

RidingFool's picture

bragging, or complaining?

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