I hired two girls from the erotic services section of Craigslist
Before you get on my case about this sort of thing, I'm rather open with my wife about my "extracurricular" activities.
The two young ladies posted some rather stunning pictures on Craigslist, and I must say their jaw-dropping hawtness well exceeded what was advertised. Though I frankly did have reservations about inviting two girls into my household that were likely one-third of my age. "Heather" and "Dawn" arrived here just before noon (My wife works 12-hour shifts on the weekends). As it's Easter today, and also a Sunday with no conventions in town, they were offering a two-fer two hour special because of today's total lack of business. They had promised over the phone to fulfill my wildest fantasies. I helped them remove their overcoats revealing matching sets of see through teddies, fishnet stockings, and black stiletto heels. "Well, Coaster", Said Heather demurely as she came to me, pressing her body close to mine, and cupping her hand over my jeans clad privates. "What would you like us to do for you today?" Her breath was cool and sweet.
"Sweethearts", I said, "I just want my ashes hauled. And when you're done cleaning out the fireplace, vacuum the carpet, clean the kitchen and the bathrooms. And while one of you finishes in the bathrooms, I'd like the other one to cook us all up some nice chicken-fried steaks, mashed potatoes, and some good cream gravy."
Dawn looked a bit miffed while Heather looked confused. Dawn said, "You did hire us out of the erotic services section. We don't do cleaning or cooking."
"Look at this place! It's a fucking pig sty! You two said you'd satisfy my wildest fantasies, and do for me the things my wife would no longer do. And right now, a clean house and a hot home-cooked meal are the things my dreams are made of!"
I sat down to watch the tube while the girls got to work. Money is money after all, and times are tough in Tulsa right now. They gave me my two hours worth of cleaning and Dawn cooked a fork tender chicken-fry that damn near melted in my mouth. I put a good sized portion away for my wife, and bid the girls a thank you and good bye.
Thanks to the "Holiday Special", I got my money's worth. When my wife gets home from her 12-hour shift, she'll have a nice chicken-fry dinner which she'll think I cooked up from scratch and she'll be enjoying it in a remarkably clean house which she'll think I cleaned. She should be quite pleased.
Who knows? I may get lucky tonight.