Public Bathrooms, learn to use them in a clean manner...

     How many times have you walked into a public restroom facility and noticed these things?:

-There's urine all over the seat, where's my lysol?

-There's toilet paper on the floor soaked in puddles of urine, I mustn't let my pants down that low if I'm to sit.

-The toilet hasn't been flushed and there's feces and toilet paper filling the hole in the bowl.

      These are just a few of the simple examples that immediately come to mind, keep in mind I'm not talking about the local hole in the wall bar where that sort of thing is expected, and I'm not talking about restaurants either.  I'm talking about parks, malls, amusement parks (ughh, shudders) and maybe a few fast food joints.  Let's go through the examples I've just mentioned one by one, shall we?

There's urine all over the seat, where's my lysol?

     Basically, as the laws of bodily sanitation reflect, there is no reason why urine should find it's way onto the seat.  Men urinate standing up, they lift the seat and pee.  Women sit on the seat and pee into the bowl.  It befuddles the mind as to why this phenomenon occurs, but yet I will try to offer explanation.  I'm assuming a man did this.  My question is why?  Were you too lazy to lift the seat?  It's not that much work.  Are you so confident in your aim that you're too good to lift the seat?  Obviously the urine you left suggests otherwise, wipe it up!  Do you not want to soil your hands by touching the seat?  Use some toilet paper in between your hand and the bowl!  There's no reason why you shouldn't lift the seat, unless of course the seat is completely covered in urine, in which case the guy who went before you is the culprit and now he should be reading this.

There's toilet paper on the floor soaked in puddles of urine, I mustn't let my pants down that low if I'm to sit.

That's right, now I gotta pull my pants down far enough not to soak up the urine that's dripped down the side of the bowl, but not too far, because the floor is covred with what appears to be urine.  Now if the bowl has overflowed at some point during the day I guess there isn't much I can say.  But if for some reason you are not peeing into the bowl (again, the men) unless you're pulling dome kind of childish prank, I suggest you sit down if you are not capable of getting the pee into the water that is in the toilet bowl!

The toilet hasn't been flushed and there's feces and toilet paper filling the hole in the bowl.

Flush the toilet!  If you don't want to touch the flusher, again, use some toilet paper, or even your foot.  It's not the next person's job, it's your job, and it's not a hard one.  I'll make up some illustrations if you want.  This seems to be the most common thing I've encountered in my visits to public bathrooms.  An un-flushed toilet.  The first thing I do is turn around and use the next available stall.  There is the situation I run into when all 3 stalls are unacceptable and I have to take the least soiled one and clean up your mess.  This pretty much backs up the need for me to write a blog such as this.  That there is actual concrete evidence of one or more of these people out there in one sitting.  Who are you people anyway? Has anyone ever caught someone on thir way out and said, "Hey, aren't you gonna flush?"

So now I'll tell you about the time I went to Coney Island and used the bathroom for a number 2 and had to pay $.50 to use the thing.  The bowl was caked in urine, yes, an actual layer of dried urine on the bowl.  I put the paper on the seat in complete awe of the whole situation.  It was more of a bizzare experience than any rollercoaster could provide, and I suppose that's why they charged the $.50.


Do you like this blog post? Vote Up or Down.

Coney Island Restroom: Not a Pleasant Memory

Coaster's picture

To be specific, I used the restroom in Astroland. I had to go badly else I wouldn't have gotten within 100 feet of the place. The stench of urine was overpowering on that sweltering summer day back in '96. I was a little put off with having to pay to use the restroom. I was lucky enough that for what I had to do, the communal-type urinal trough was sufficient. I thought the attendant was payed to keep the place clean. Evidently that wasn't the case. When I say the stench was horrific, I'm talking about still smelling that place when you were clear up on the boardwalk.

The Cyclone and Big-Ass Ferris Wheel are still there, but Astroland, which was across the street from those two attractions, closed its doors for good last month. I won't miss it.

I have no remedy to suggest for this very real social problem. Other than capital punishment. I have a difficult time fathoming what kind of (insert expletive of your choice here) would soil a stool in a public restroom.

Oklahoma does have a cure for unclean restrooms at rest stops along their major highways: They don't have any.

==Coaster (Whooooeeee!) 


42nd Street, Manhattan

michael3b's picture

Emergency stop in the public john at whatever that park is there. While settled, a hobo enters and squats in the next stall. He then proceeds, from what I can tell, to give birth to the ball from Phantasm. Screaming, banging... and then SPLAT... right on the floor.

Somebody else said, "Man, that is NASTY. Who just shit on the floor?"

Hobo starts yelling, "Who you THINK shitted on the floor, mother FUCKER. Yeah, I shitted on the floor- I'm the only one HERE who shitted on the floor, right? So who else coulda shitted on the floor? I shitted on the floor."

He did- but it beats me how. I mean he wasn't even CLOSE.

Another fan. . .

Wally_Pipp's picture

Talk to Xur about Nathan's. Still doing well, by all reports.

Best regards, Wally

Astroland is CLOSED?!?!

HS's picture


Next thing we know, Nathan's Hot Dogs will be going out of business.

Things are getting BAD.


Public Beach Port-A-Potty

scarlet_ohara's picture

Worst. Ever.

My sister and I had gone to the local beach, of which my state has many- and, after watching many light blue waves crashing on the shore, I had to pee.

We casually strolled up to he nearest public port-a-potty, which, from the outside, appeared innocent enough.

It was only when I opened the door that the true horrors of hell unleashed all of their combined sights and stench. Crap was everywhere- EVERYWHERE inside of that thing- all over the walls, literally COVERING the seat- even the toilet paper dispenser was covered in gooey orange-ish brown shit.

I can't imagine how this happened- if someone'd had literally explosive diarrhea, or drunk college kids decided to execute the grossest prank ever. And who's idea of a sick joke it would have been.

I immediately left the door- and my sister had to have a look too because she didn't believe me.

Wow. Disgusting doesn't even begin...

We walked to a beachside bar instead, where we both had a hard drink to forget what we'd just seen.

My guess is it fell over and they lifted it back up...

TMundo's picture

...possibly the lifeguards or beach patrol, who wouldn't want to clean it, but wouldn't want it spilling out onto the beach.

My god. Conversation in this

daz's picture

My god. Conversation in this joint has literally gone down the crapper.


Rageoholic's picture

there are too many forums..everything looks sparse...there should be just movie forums..IMHO...

Dang, T. See what you did?

Coaster's picture

Now don't be starting no more shit in these forums, ya hear?

==Coaster (Whooooeeee!) 


"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie andwipetheseatie"

FearlessFreep's picture

Ever notice how some people who use toilet paper don't tear it off, but just leave the roll dangling into the bowl?

I guess we're in TMI territory now.


The artist formerly known as Zorro.

Correct the error of my ways, but

RidingFool's picture

it might appear that you are spending far too much time in public washrooms.

"There's urine all over the seat, where's my lysol?"

MadNessMonster's picture

I'm sorry to say, I stopped reading right there because - my f*cking word - this drives me batshit insane.  And one of the reasons why it drives me insane (I apologize if anyone has already mentioned this) is because I know *why* it happens.

There are two kinds of women when it comes to public bathrooms.  There are women who wrap the seat in toilet paper (hi).  We actually (Heaven forbid) sit on the toilet seat explicitly designed to be sat upon and do our dirty sinful deed.  The other kind of women are squatters.  I only know about them because I am related to a few (oh God, the childhood trauma). 

Now these women *hover over the toilet and try to aim their piss*.  Obviously, their dogged attempts to go against nature and try to follow the ways of men FAIL.  Those of us who know better and pee the way nature (and the inventors of toilets) intended have to suffer.

So... yeah.


MadNessMonster's picture

Fortunately (I guess) the scariest public toilets I have encountered can be found at the rest stop/information kiosk going south on 95 (there is a sign welcoming you to Massachusetts with a turkey on it, so it's hard to miss).  Now, I understand the *concept* behind composting toilets but...

Composting toilets, is that what I think it is?

TMundo's picture

That sounds like it would require quite a complex system in order to pull it off without becoming a health hazard.

I'm sorry, but

RidingFool's picture

you all need to take it down a notch. Really now, they're public toilets for a reason - no matter what the reason - and one shouldn't expect mom to be there to clean up after all of you have emptied your bowels. Or your bladders.

Several years ago I attended a rather large gathering of the clan where Kid Rock was playing. I don't recall how many people were there, but it was huge, held in the Fontana Speedway. The porta-potties were full to overflowing, and there were literally trails of shit and piss running to and from them in every direction. It was one of the grossest things I've ever witnessed in North America.

On the plus side: plenty of eye candy located throughout the venue, much of it not taken.

As I stated before it's not the party establishments that get me

TMundo's picture

     As whenever there's a place where alcohol is consumed, I don't expect the bathroom to be clean, unless it's a restaurant.  Kid Rock concerts with port-o-potties are no exception.

     What befuddles the mind, is when you walk into a public restroom stall and the bowl is stuffed with crap and paper as if the person simply didn't flush.  One runs into this incident often enough to wonder that maybe there's more to it than people are simply forgetting.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.