Sparkles await you in Vampire death.

So, I was trapped in the local mall, in a life-or-death struggle to gain relationship-sustaining goods when, I passed some kind of shop perveying goods for psuedo-pop-culturalists. As I passed, my eyes becamed afixed on a garment that stood only for the destruction of mankind and all ideals that separate men from everything gay. What I saw could only be described as theh gayest fucking insult to manhood and the encouragment of the decay of a genre that in pop-culture, I hold dear to my horror loving gut. It was a t-shirt that said, "I love boys that sparkle."

The garment was a complete reference to the "film," "Twilight." I almost vomited in my mouth (now, i just did it for real.) It was at that time, I realized that the unnecessary craving that Hollywood has to pull on daddy's credit card via the loins of his little girl, all the while destroying what many of us horror fanatics cherish, in one fell swoop, just to make a buck, has only but accelerated the decay of entertainment as we used to know it.

"Twilight" was a disgusting genre bashing. It reminds me of when my mom forced me to let girls into the fort that my friends and I painstakingly built with the specific purpose of keeping girls out.

Honestly, what's next, zombie films where the now zombie boyfriend still manages to remember an anniversary, by providing a gift instead devouring the brains of his loved one? Or maybe the female zombies are different and prefer to bitch about their now-zombie lovers over cosmos?!!! Please, this has to stop....NOW!!!

The thing that makes vampires and other monsters cool, is that they're fucking monsters!!! If women continually feel they want to be in the monster "clubhouse" they need to accept the pure and simple fact that monsters and demons are not cuddly. There are love stories and there are horror stories. Nothing can exist in between, except for the fact that in monster films and stories the man always gets some after he rescues some chick from the monsters. There is no "ever after." The monsters are dead, or you just plain survived, now give me some. That's how monster movies go.

I refuse to let the female faction impead apon my beloved genres with their incescent need for a love story.

This must stop.  Now.

To read more visit my site: <a href="http://maxeydevbox.org/blog/entertainment/twilight-movie-review">Twilight Review</a>

 

p.s. the only reason that i saw "Twilight" is because I have girlfriend and we had free tickets earned because we see a lot of movies.


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