Welcome to Mid May
It's May, the temperature is rising, the NBA playoffs are half over, Dick Cheney is still alive, and the white coloring on my girlfriend's Hello Kitty trampstamp is coming in nicely thank you very much.
What can I look forward to this summer; will it be filled with adventure and excitement? Sports, movies, politics; my how busy it will be! (personally I wish i could simply find 6 sane lunatics to sit down with and have a lovely game of Diplomacy [or 7 and play Machievelli!])
Sports - I've enjoyed some sports this spring, playing and watching. Nothing, NOTHING, would top the Skunks getting relegated. The Baggies going down was fantastic (even more so with Wolves coming up!) but to see the Toon waffling in the FizzyPop would be delightful. If Villa lets them off the hook this coming weekend I swear I'm going to burn my girlfriends Ashley Young jersey and ship it to him. Tony Stewart has been my favorite driver for years now, and to see him win the All-Star race saturday night was great. The pure elation that lit up his face was a treat, and the race itself was fun. Yes I enjoy Nascar; No I can't watch a 500 mile race start to finish, my attention span (and required daily nap intake) make that unrealistic but that last 10 lap shootout was a blast to see. (unless you're a member of junior nation, but then if you are you're used to disappointment) The Cubs. What can I say about the Cubs? Here's to another successful 100 years of not winning CRAP. Living where I do I have noticed the odds posted for the upcoming season of football. My beloved Ducks are only 18-1 shots to win the BCS? MY Ducks? Look, I thought Jeremiah Masoli was good by the end of the year, but Vegas has them like 8th in the nation now? WOW. I sure hope Mr Autzen has the seat he wants when he looks down and watches, cause it should be fun. Me, the tradition of not including my Ducks on parlays will continue, but a 20 spot on them to win it all would be fun to keep in my ticket collection.
Movies - Oh goody, another summer of blockbusters! Come entertain me Hollywood! oh, crap, I forgot, entertainment isn't a priority. So let's see what we've got. Star Trek. Yippie. IF you're going to use the same characters; IF you're going to establish a background, IF you've got more money budgeted for special effects than the GNP of 90% of UN members, you'd better f'n do it right. How much trouble could it be to watch the 3 seasons of original episodes, take notes, and stick to what you're given? Apparently too much trouble. Land of the Lost. I remember this from saturday mornings as a kid. Sleestacks and bad dinos with 2 kids a dad and someone else. It wasn't bad it wasn't great it simply had it's moments. When I heard there was to be a movie I thought "cool, maybe they'll have some fun with it." Little did I know Jurassic Park was going to meet Old School. Will F'n Farrell? Did Larry the Cable Guy turn the role down? Keee ryst. Wolverine. They destroyed the series with the movies they've done already, why bother with more. Physics? That's for people who don't believe the universe is 4400 years old. Same with that evolution and gravity BS too. Much too complicated to comprehend to who cares. Me, oh no, I'm happy being magic clay. Terminator Salvation. Without Arnie, does anyone care anymore? When it comes on SciFi in a few years I'll watch it then. (if SciFi can squeeze it into their amazing original programming that just ROCKS) [it's not sarcasm if I have to explain it] Angels and Demons Is the church protesting this one? I hope so, it would give me a reason to go, I haven't crossed a picket line at a movie since 'The Meaning of Life' so I'm ready. Otherwise it can wait for the small screen too. Night at the Museum For those of you who don't know what the inside of a museum looks like except for that field trip you took in 5th grade where you spent your time giggling about whose farts smelled worse, now's your chance to see what's actually there. For the rest of humanity, Ben Stiller + sequel = 0. Transformers II There's a market for this? How long ago did the first one come out? Didn't it tank? Did I miss something? Frankly, I don't care. Didn't like the cartoon, couldn't care less. GI Joe I haven't seen a trailer, did Rumsfeld help with the script? He's my kind of terror expert, let him sally forth. What would I like to see? Hmm, aside from the usual plea for the next movie to simply not suck, since sequels and remakes are chic, here's a few remakes and sequels that's I'd like to see made: Conan - I don't know how many of you read the books, and frankly I don't care. The point is that Conan starring Arnie wasn't Conan. He looked the part, fine. The story was RIGHT THERE IN THE FUCKING BOOK MR DELAURENTIS. What part of 'All I have to do is follow the book and all is well' did you NOT FUCKING GET? Remake Conan withOUT Dino. Murder by Death - Remember that fun little flick? It was like Clue but more so. A good cast could make for an entertaining 2 hours. (cast either George Clooney or Julia Roberts in it for another pseudo-Ocean's movie and I WILL hunt you down. COMEDIANS. Funny ones, not those who simply do it professionally) Maybe the Story of Solomon. Ali Baba and the 40 thieves. Sinbad. A serious attempt at a Lovecraft story. A Marco Polo trilogy. Maybe even, dare I think it, an Elric saga? Nope, I've got it. GAMERA 2010! He still likes boy pants, he just likes them on girls now! I don't know, something. Something big. A great big epic along the lines of the 10 Commandments/Ben Hur. And if the historical military advisor you interview for any battle sequences lists 'Gladiator' on his resume, introduce his gluteous maximus to your foot on his way out the door.
Politics - Obama spoke at Notre Dame. Did anyone listen or were they too wrapped up in their preconceived notions that what he said didn't matter? [YES it was a pun, NO you didn't get it] Obama and the officials at Notre Dame (at least the one(s) who brought him there) understand that there MUST be dialouge and there MUST be a position taken that isn't outrightly offensive to one side. Screaming one way or the other does nothing. Personally, I see abortion becoming a states issue, and each state can deal with it themselves. The Tea(bag) party. Are they still relevant? Were they ever? A bunch of self-righteous Republicans whining about taxes? WHO THE FUCK SPENT THIS COUNTRY INTO IT'S CURRENT CRISIS YOU IGNORANT DRONE? Just something else I can thank the 2000 and 2004 electorate for. I've said it before, I'll say it now, and I'm sure I'll say it again; George W Bush spent tax money at a pace that not even the most socio-friendly enviro-friendly liberal has ever COMTEMPLATED spending. Why does that bother me? Because I am a fiscally conservative republican who wonders what the hell ever happened to my party. It was there in the 80's, it got dumb, then stupid, then angry in the 90's, and it got vicious in the double oh's. Watching republicans today is like watching starving dogs. They're going to eat each other until only one is left and whomever that is thinks they'll be 'In control of the dominant repulican machine that will steamroll to victory in '12'. Really. Bobby Jindal? Sarah Palin? Rush Limburger? This two party system? It sucks. Hard. We need parlimentary government, not this 2 party BS that barely functions and represents next to no one. (ok maybe a democrat feels differently, i'm sure some republicans do too, but for myself and republicans I know, we don't have a party anymore. the group calling itself the GOP isn't the republican party I joined, and aren't people I want leading a circus parade, let alone a political party.) Afganistan is a mess, Pakistan is looming as a nightmare, and that still leaves how many countries? Perhaps now Sri Lanka can move forward with events there, but something tells me that ex-Tamils will be targets of recruiting efforts for other networks.
Here's to a successful SM4 and the dedication and determination shown by those who really are trying to live life in Neil Armstrong's apt words.
Right now it's almost summer, the lake is calling, and I'll probably end up in an air-conditioned casino until the gf gets home. At least I can get my 20 down on that future. And whatever comps I get for it being a Monday.