Welcome to Mid May

It's May, the temperature is rising, the NBA playoffs are half over, Dick Cheney is still alive, and the white coloring on my girlfriend's Hello Kitty trampstamp is coming in nicely thank you very much.

What can I look forward to this summer; will it be filled with adventure and excitement?  Sports, movies, politics; my how busy it will be!  (personally I wish i could simply find 6 sane lunatics to sit down with and have a lovely game of Diplomacy [or 7 and play Machievelli!])

Sports - I've enjoyed some sports this spring, playing and watching.  Nothing, NOTHING, would top the Skunks getting relegated.  The Baggies going down was fantastic (even more so with Wolves coming up!) but to see the Toon waffling in the FizzyPop would be delightful.  If Villa lets them off the hook this coming weekend I swear I'm going to burn my girlfriends Ashley Young jersey and ship it to him.  Tony Stewart has been my favorite driver for years now, and to see him win the All-Star race saturday night was great.  The pure elation that lit up his face was a treat, and the race itself was fun.  Yes I enjoy Nascar; No I can't watch a 500 mile race start to finish, my attention span (and required daily nap intake) make that unrealistic but that last 10 lap shootout was a blast to see.  (unless you're a member of junior nation, but then if you are you're used to disappointment)  The Cubs.  What can I say about the Cubs?  Here's to another successful 100 years of not winning CRAP.  Living where I do I have noticed the odds posted for the upcoming season of football.  My beloved Ducks are only 18-1 shots to win the BCS?  MY Ducks?  Look, I thought Jeremiah Masoli was good by the end of the year, but Vegas has them like 8th in the nation now?  WOW.  I sure hope Mr Autzen has the seat he wants when he looks down and watches, cause it should be fun.  Me, the tradition of not including my Ducks on parlays will continue, but a 20 spot on them to win it all would be fun to keep in my ticket collection.

Movies - Oh goody, another summer of blockbusters!  Come entertain me Hollywood!  oh, crap, I forgot, entertainment isn't a priority.  So let's see what we've got.  Star Trek.  Yippie.  IF you're going to use the same characters; IF you're going to establish a background, IF you've got more money budgeted for special effects than the GNP of 90% of UN members, you'd better f'n do it right.  How much trouble could it be to watch the 3 seasons of original episodes, take notes, and stick to what you're given?  Apparently too much trouble.  Land of the Lost.  I remember this from saturday mornings as a kid.  Sleestacks and bad dinos with 2 kids a dad and someone else.  It wasn't bad it wasn't great it simply had it's moments.  When I heard there was to be a movie I thought "cool, maybe they'll have some fun with it."  Little did I know Jurassic Park was going to meet Old School.  Will F'n Farrell?  Did Larry the Cable Guy turn the role down?  Keee ryst.  Wolverine.  They destroyed the series with the movies they've done already, why bother with more.  Physics?  That's for people who don't believe the universe is 4400 years old.  Same with that evolution and gravity BS too.  Much too complicated to comprehend to who cares.  Me, oh no, I'm happy being magic clay.  Terminator Salvation.  Without Arnie, does anyone care anymore?  When it comes on SciFi in a few years I'll watch it then.  (if SciFi can squeeze it into their amazing original programming that just ROCKS) [it's not sarcasm if I have to explain it]  Angels and Demons  Is the church protesting this one?  I hope so, it would give me a reason to go, I haven't crossed a picket line at a movie since 'The Meaning of Life' so I'm ready.  Otherwise it can wait for the small screen too.  Night at the Museum  For those of you who don't know what the inside of a museum looks like except for that field trip you took in 5th grade where you spent your time giggling about whose farts smelled worse, now's your chance to see what's actually there.  For the rest of humanity, Ben Stiller + sequel = 0.  Transformers II  There's a market for this?  How long ago did the first one come out?  Didn't it tank?  Did I miss something?  Frankly, I don't care.  Didn't like the cartoon, couldn't care less.  GI Joe  I haven't seen a trailer, did Rumsfeld help with the script?  He's my kind of terror expert, let him sally forth.  What would I like to see?  Hmm, aside from the usual plea for the next movie to simply not suck, since sequels and remakes are chic, here's a few remakes and sequels that's I'd like to see made:  Conan - I don't know how many of you read the books, and frankly I don't care.  The point is that Conan starring Arnie wasn't Conan.  He looked the part, fine.  The story was RIGHT THERE IN THE FUCKING BOOK MR DELAURENTIS.  What part of 'All I have to do is follow the book and all is well' did you NOT FUCKING GET?  Remake Conan withOUT Dino.  Murder by Death - Remember that fun little flick?  It was like Clue but more so.  A good cast could make for an entertaining 2 hours.  (cast either George Clooney or Julia Roberts in it for another pseudo-Ocean's movie and I WILL hunt you down.  COMEDIANS.  Funny ones, not those who simply do it professionally)  Maybe the Story of Solomon.  Ali Baba and the 40 thieves.  Sinbad.  A serious attempt at a Lovecraft story.  A Marco Polo trilogy.  Maybe even, dare I think it, an Elric saga?  Nope, I've got it.  GAMERA 2010!  He still likes boy pants, he just likes them on girls now!  I don't know, something.  Something big.  A great big epic along the lines of the 10 Commandments/Ben Hur.  And if the historical military advisor you interview for any battle sequences lists 'Gladiator' on his resume, introduce his gluteous maximus to your foot on his way out the door.

Politics - Obama spoke at Notre Dame.  Did anyone listen or were they too wrapped up in their preconceived notions that what he said didn't matter?  [YES it was a pun, NO you didn't get it]  Obama and the officials at Notre Dame (at least the one(s) who brought him there) understand that there MUST be dialouge and there MUST be a position taken that isn't outrightly offensive to one side.  Screaming one way or the other does nothing.  Personally, I see abortion becoming a states issue, and each state can deal with it themselves.  The Tea(bag) party.  Are they still relevant?  Were they ever?  A bunch of self-righteous Republicans whining about taxes?  WHO THE FUCK SPENT THIS COUNTRY INTO IT'S CURRENT CRISIS YOU IGNORANT DRONE?  Just something else I can thank the 2000 and 2004 electorate for.  I've said it before, I'll say it now, and I'm sure I'll say it again;  George W Bush spent tax money at a pace that not even the most socio-friendly enviro-friendly liberal has ever COMTEMPLATED spending.  Why does that bother me?  Because I am a fiscally conservative republican who wonders what the hell ever happened to my party.  It was there in the 80's, it got dumb, then stupid, then angry in the 90's, and it got vicious in the double oh's.  Watching republicans today is like watching starving dogs.  They're going to eat each other until only one is left and whomever that is thinks they'll be 'In control of the dominant repulican machine that will steamroll to victory in '12'.  Really.  Bobby Jindal?  Sarah Palin?  Rush Limburger?  This two party system?  It sucks.  Hard.  We need parlimentary government, not this 2 party BS that barely functions and represents next to no one.  (ok maybe a democrat feels differently, i'm sure some republicans do too, but for myself and republicans I know, we don't have a party anymore.  the group calling itself the GOP isn't the republican party I joined, and aren't people I want leading a circus parade, let alone a political party.)  Afganistan is a mess, Pakistan is looming as a nightmare, and that still leaves how many countries?  Perhaps now Sri Lanka can move forward with events there, but something tells me that ex-Tamils will be targets of recruiting efforts for other networks.

Here's to a successful SM4 and the dedication and determination shown by those who really are trying to live life in Neil Armstrong's apt words.

Right now it's almost summer, the lake is calling, and I'll probably end up in an air-conditioned casino until the gf gets home.  At least I can get my 20 down on that future.  And whatever comps I get for it being a Monday.



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Do you play Settlers of Catan too?

FearlessFreep's picture

I played it for the first time last month.  It's really addictive!

Another addictive strategy game I recently discovered is Small World.  It's a bit like Settlers, but in a D&D setting, with stuff like pillaging amazons and berserk halflings and flying elves and seafaring skeletons.


Once upon a time

gamerarocks's picture

I attended conventions in Denver; the guy from Mayfair would bring all kinds of new games to playtest and Catan was one, years ago.  I enjoyed it, even have the Yahoo version on my pc.  Everyone locally seems obsessed with Warhammer/Battletech.  I prefer historical miniatures myself if not a good old fashioned board game.  (my bookcase games gather dust effectively)  Anymore I find DoD:S addictive on line, EU III, and PS2 football fill the void.

Impeach Jim Gibbons!


Settlers of Catan

Mal_Content's picture

It's my favourite board game.  The Seafarers expansion pack is pretty good.  I've also got the Knights one, which I haven't had time to try yet.  Actually, no one wants to play with me anymore because I never lose.

They could play with me

FearlessFreep's picture

I'm not so good.  I played the Knights & Cities version the other week.  The first barbarian raid levelled my city, and I didn't get another one till almost the end of the game! (I came close at one point, but someone played a monopoly card and took away my metal!)

I've also discovered the games Ticket to Ride (building railroads) and Puerto Rico (colonial plantations).


Catan on line

gamerarocks's picture


In case you're interested

Impeach Jim Gibbons!


I've finally won a Settlers game!

FearlessFreep's picture

Tonight the two local Games Meetup groups had a big Settlers event at the Ryerson University student centre. There were almost 20 people there.  At one point we had five games going!

Two of the games were Knights and Cities and Seafarers versions, which both took forever.  In the same time, I managed to play three games of the simpler version--we only played to seven points instead of ten --and I won the last one.  In that one the key was the ports:  I opened two and also got a point from a market card.


Puerto Rico is my new favorite game

FearlessFreep's picture

It's a strategy game where you build plantations on Puerto Rico when it was a Spanish colony.  You plant crops and ship them off to get victory points, and you spend money to buy buildings to process your crops, and place colonists on plantations and buildings to activate them in the craftsman stage.  You get new money by trading crops, or by being a prospector. You can plant simple crops (corn, indigo) that require little or no building, or crops that require more (sugar, tobacco, coffee).


Now I've discovered Carcassone

FearlessFreep's picture

That's another fun strategy game.  You lay down square tiles one at a time so that a tile's edge matches the edge of the tile it touches. (Edges can be city, country, or country with a road.)


A sick little game...

FearlessFreep's picture

...but rather fun:

At these games Meetups I've been playing a card game called Guillotine.  You start by putting down twelve cards in a line representing nobles waiting to be guillotined.  Each noble has a certain number of points--Marie Antoinette is 5, Bad Nun is 3, Piss Boy is 1.  But some have negative points:  Martyr is -1, Hero of the People is -3. (No hoboes, alas.) The noble who gets executed on your turn goes to your pile and is added to your score.  And some are more complicated--if you have one palace guard that worth 1 point, but two are worth 4 and three are worth 9...

Before the execution, you get to play an action card, moving a noble up four places or down two, or the "Let Them Eat Cake" card that moves Marie Antoinette to the front etc.  You play action cards to acquire the ones with high points and avoid the negative ones.


To comment...

TMundo's picture

...there was a time when I looked forward to the summer, it's become cluttered with responsibility, but it's still there, and more fun than winter (except for winter vacation.)


Star TrekHaven't seen it

Terminator Salvation  - Looks interesting except I remember a batman cartoon with the same premise.  I don't really care that arnold isn't in it for some reason.

Angels & Demons -- Meh, once you find God, all the movies concerning the meaning of life seem less important

Transformers II -- I was a fan of the cartoon, but I didn't see the first movie, so I'd better catch up, assuming I care to see the second one.

J.I. Joe -- Are they really doing this? Now? Do we really need to joke about war right now?  Is the movie gonna be a serious attemt to show war in it's cruelty, or is it gonna be like the cartoon with cobra and all that jazz?  Because right nopw we are caught in the middle of 2 wars.

What do I wanna see?  What happened to that Tripods movie that was gonna come out? A decent Bible movie would be cool, kinda like the old, "The Bible," movie but more epic without any added stuff.

Politics?  I agree with you, and as someone who's voted for dems, although I don't consider myself one, I'm getting fed up as well, but maybe not as bad, time will tell.  We need some other party choices, but how?

Transformers was actually pretty good

nickumoh's picture

I tought it was going to suck because it was directed by Michael Bay, but I felt like a dick when I saw how good it was.

When the movie was playing, we had some engineers visit our fab from our parent company in Taiwan. I invited them to watch it with us at a Dolby Surround sound theatre. They loved the hell out of it. But then again, they were also blown away by fresh cherries and gourmet sausage pizza, so I can't exactly use them as a cinematic barometer.

Don't know about GI Joe. I saw Marlon Wayans in the preview. Seeing Marlon Wayans in a preview is one of those warning signs that something very bad is about to happen not unlike when you are flying in an airplane and oxygen masks fall out of ceiling.

...what...what were talking about again?

No, it wasn't

michael3b's picture

That friggin' thing sucked harder than Mischa Barton at a casting call.   Just a big, nonsensical pile of loud.



As far as blockbusters go

nickumoh's picture

It wasn't bad. I mean it was a million times better than I would have expected a Michael Bay movie to have turned out.

Have you seen Armageddon? How about Pearl Harbor? It was way better than those two combined. It also raked in .7billion worldwide so get used to this franchise (there's another already slated for the summer of 2011).

And lets not forget about the main reason that made the movie ok, Megan Fox. I couldn't leave my seat for an hour after the film. Over the entire movie she looked damp and misty; like she just stepped out of the shower. And those eyes. My god, those eyes. I'd kill a man just to stare at her eyes in person. Seriously, to meet her in person, just hand me pistol and a picture of a random stranger and I'll have a "Mission Accomplished" banner waving in 5 minutes.

...what...what were talking about again?

Do you have a preference?

gamerarocks's picture

 .44, .45, .38, 9mil?  Megan Fox isn't my cup o' tea per se; not bad at all, just not worth killing for or impersonating pseudo-presidents and their gaffes. 

Anyone else think Transformers 3 will be entitled similarly?  Something like "Resoration of Cybertron"? 

Then the 3 prequels can start.

Impeach Jim Gibbons!


He man would make a good remake

TMundo's picture


because it already was a movie in the 80's

and thundercats? well, almost

TMundo's picture


no, that's not official, it almost looks like there was a series somewhere at somepoint, brazil i'm guessing

Close enough

gamerarocks's picture

Definitely Portuguese language, so I'd guess you're right about Brazil.  Vin Diesel hmm?  Ok I'm cool with that.  But I'm HOT seeing Gigi Edgley again!  O YEAH!  Watching that clip it didn't seem like they changed much of her make-up from Chiana but I don't care, nice to see her again in that kind of role.  (even if it is in Brazil and I'll never see the flick.)

Impeach Jim Gibbons!


as it turns out they were old films/shows digitally manipulated

TMundo_haha's picture

I reconised farscape, vin diesel in whatever, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, and the guy playing liono looked like the guy in Troy or something.

I wish I had written this.

michael3b's picture

That was a fun read, gamera.  I don't think abortion should be a state issue, though.  Shouldn't really be a political one at all- free speech gives anybody the right to protest or to try to convince, that oughta be enough.  And Obama is outspending your boy GW by a country mile.

Oh, and the universe is a LITTLE bit older than 4,400 years, my friend.  Allow me to drop some knowledge on you:


I dig Murder by Death.  A little corny, but Peter Falk was awesome "Everybody stay right where you are! I gotta go to the can and I don't wanna miss nuthin'". Heh.  Julia Roberts is not human and so has no business playing one in the movies.

I'd like to see Jaws this summer. Not a remake...I just dig the original.  Also, I'd like to see The Restaurant at the End of the Universe get made only with a better script than Hitchhiker's Guide...

And Rodan would be cool, too.

My God! What Has This Place Come To??

Coaster's picture

You. People. Are. Discussing. ..................................MOVIES!


gamerarocks's picture

I missed one, sorry.  (and yes coaster it's ANOTHER movie, WITH spoilers of a sort)

I saw this on Yahoo, as the most popular trailer viewed, and with my previously admitted enjoyment of giant monsters, I couldn't pass up this one.

MegaShark vs Giant Octopus  -  No way!  Seriously?!?  Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus.  They've been frozen in ice for 10 million years, thawed, and are ready for mayhem.  (sounds BRUTALLY close to the origin story of the GREATEST monster let alone turtle in history)  And if THAT'S not enough to get you going, it stars not just Lorenzo Lamas, but Debbie (errr, Deborah) Gibson!  Don't we have a global recession?  Someone FUNDED this?  A football stadium sized shark that attacks the Golden Gate Bridge AND leaps out of the water at passenger aircraft AND snacks on battleships?  I didn't know we still had battleships in the Pacific Fleet; apparently I need to visit Pearl Harbor and San Diego more often.  Combine that with an Octopus of similar stature, that eats submarines AND can swat F-15's out of the sky with tentacles.  Hey Kool-Aid!!!  ( O YEAH )  This is gonna ROCK!  Can you say Cinematic Titanic fodder in 15 months?  I can't believe a movie with this premise and title actually got made.  There are less possible premise points here than goals for Coach McGirk's team.  Denise Richards made a better Nuclear Physicist than Debbie (errr, Deborah) Gibson could as a marine biologist.  Lorenzo Lamas?  Personally, I have nothing against the guy.  Renegade was a 'marginal' show, and I'm sure (I kind of have to be right on this) he's done better work.  Right?  The only thing I can think is that some CGI guy spent a LOT of freetime creating a couple of monsters and some producer said 'WOW we gotta get that in a movie somehow!'  Voila, we get MegaShark vs Giant Octopus.  Either that or Debbie (errr, Deborah) Gibson and Lorenzo are knocking boots and the director was one of those fanatics in New Jersey who followed Ms Gibson from mall concert to mall concert.  Unless YOU'VE got a better explanation, don't laugh.  Money that could have made another movie, or another movie better is here, and you'll be expected to watch.  EXCELSIOR!

Impeach Jim Gibbons!


I saw the trailer

Coaster's picture

Bad news.  I think the only thing that will come of this is that trailer.  Sorry. 

The problem with giant octopuseses

Rajah's picture

Out of the water their tentacles can't do shit. They have no freaking bones! So all those movies featuring them attacking ships and submarines are totally bogus.

I want desperately to see MegaShark v Giant Octopus.

Wulfgar's picture

It looks like 17 different kinds of Awesome & Stupid.




~No, my young padawan; this one is mine.~


Sounds like a '70s Hanna-Barbera series

FearlessFreep's picture

Just saying.


Even if this turns out to be a kiddie porn I will forgive it.

michael3b's picture

Best trailer ever.

Quien es mas macho? Lorenzo Llamas ooooooor Ricardo Montalbaaaaan?


PS- I thought octopi got out of their aquariums alot?

The plural of "octopus"

FearlessFreep's picture

Most people assume, because of its "-us" ending, that "octopus" comes from Latin and takes "octopi" as its plural.  In fact, it comes from Greek, in which language its plural is "octopodes."

Myself, I prefer an unchanged "octopus" for the plural.


Octopices are escape artists

Rajah's picture

The thing is out of the water they're flat and so are squidies. So all these movies like 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea and Pirates of the Carribean showing them lifting men up in the air are wrong.


Foo's picture

Plural: octopussies

What could be simpler?

An Oscar the Grouch poem

FearlessFreep's picture

So you think the octopus is ugly.

Well, here's something for you:

It just so happens that the octopus

Might think you're ugly too!


Octopus v shark

michael3b's picture

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